Wonderwall

A very posh hotel

Little island off the coast of Spain

10th July

Mr Hall,

Before I start, I am sitting on the most uncomfortable camp bed ever so this isn’t going to be very long. You want me to explain how I found you out of thousands of people on that seedy website. You, George Hall, stood out to me. Even though you are very ordinary in the way that I can imagine you reading this from your leather lounge chair, with a dog (possibly a terrier or bull dog) called Ben from your apartment in Boston sipping your morning coffee. It was just the way you posed in your profile picture. And that is what I wanted but not what you want. Unfortunately I am not contacting you to encourage a lustful or racy relationship between us. You deserve that but I am too young for it to seem okay as you are in your mid-fifties. There is something I want to share with you, something real, that is occurring right as I write this letter. I hope you will learn from them.

The air conditioning is making it hard for me to stay awake; the cold air is drying my eyes out. It’s quite painful on top of it being almost midnight. It’s also daunting being alone for so long, I’ll tell you why I am alone soon. I won’t use my real name for now, probably out of fear of you finding out who I am after falling for the pouring of romantic shit from my heart and searching for me. Not that you would but you can never be too sure. I was thinking of something exotic like India or Valerie, but thinking about it Esme is a good name. Before you jump to conclusions, no it’s nothing like my real name, so don’t go decoding it. There is no cryptic meaning; it’s too late for that.

I am on this little island for two months, then it’s back home. I’ve been travelling all year; first America, Mexico and then Europe and now I am here. The hotel is huge, the interior has been carefully thought out. The cool breeze made the hanging lights sway and flicker. It opened up to a wooden desk; a typical Spanish woman was standing there checking in the guests. I can’t remember the exact dialogue so I’ll give you a rough outline, I hope you don’t mind.

“Name?” She didn’t even look up at me, which I found particularly rude

“Esme” I paused “Esme Smith”

“Two months?” She raised her eyebrows

“It’s somewhere to stay, isn’t it?”

She continued on, asking why I was staying here so long and what I was doing. I didn’t know I was at the border agency again. She finally gave me my room key ‘L350’, ‘L’ stood for lake (I am guessing that part). She explained the layout of the hotel and how ‘it’s dangerous outside the hotel at night so you shouldn’t leave during the night’. I nodded, you can probably gather I wasn’t fully paying attention.

“Would you like help taking your bags to your room?” She tapped the pen on the desk

“Why not” I started to gather the mini mountain of bags up, it sort of looked like the island. Where I am staying is a volcanic island, which puts me on edge a little bit.

This is when it’s happened, why I am writing to you.

“Lucas!” The woman called

A tall boy, I would say boy but he was probably a man, appeared from behind the white wall. He was intriguing, the way he walked with such confidence made my stomach twist. I’ve never felt that before.

“Can I take this?” He had a obviously strong Spanish accent

I just nodded, if I spoke barely a squeak would have passed my lips. Lucas managed to fling the bag over his shoulder with such ease and has the suitcase in the other. I won’t describe his features now, you’re sick of my emotions already. I can vision you shaking your head, rolling your eyes and tutting at me.

I was self conscious, being on a flight for five hours didn’t particularly tame my already messy hair and the smudged make up look was oh so beautiful.

The room was beautiful, looking out onto a white sand beach and the marble floor cooling under my feet. Lucas placed them on the bed, smirking. I knew what he was thinking.

“Good room isn’t it?” His English was slightly broken but really good, better than mine most of the time

“Yep” I swallowed hard, it took away most of my fear

“The view out there is beautiful” He pushed back his hair, it was long on the top but shaved on the sides. Unlike most Spanish boys it was soft and fluffy not harshly gelled back. “See you around”

I didn’t look back and watch him walk away, that would be cliché but I did stare out of the balcony doors, my chest rising and falling at a rapid rate. I sound like some dumb teenager, all of that ‘love at first sight’ shit but I truly felt like someone had grabbed a blunt knife and stuck in my beating heart when he spoke. You must have felt that before George, you must have. When  you saw a girl in high school or at work or in the street, your heart must have stopped when they walked past.

I should probably get going, it’s almost 1am and the moths are collecting around the tiny lamp I have pointed at the paper. I will write again tomorrow, or maybe the day after.

Esme