The Red Men

I'm not sure how I got to this place. It was such a long time ago since I last stood on this spot waiting to cross the road. So many years had passed since then it took me a few moments to recognise where I was.

The last time I was here was the day I nearly died.

My nephew Steven, just two years younger than me, and I had just been to the nearby shop. It had been my ninth birthday the day before and I'd been given permission to go to the shop for the first time on my own. It was exciting. Steven had begged to be allowed to come along too; promising to hold my hand all the way.

I was more than happy to take Steven along with me. We did everything together, and I wanted him to come along. It would be another adventure for us both.

Now we were trying to get home. That day, on the walk back from the shop, was the last thing we shared. We didn't make it home and Steven didn't make it to the hospital.

When I was allowed to go home from the hospital, I asked my parents where Steven was. No one would talk about him at all while I was in hospital, and I really wanted to see him. The news from my parents that Steven would not be coming home was devastating. It broke my heart and I ran from my parents looking for Steven.

I've not been back to this crossing since; I've never been able to face it. For the two or three years after the accident we still lived in the area, I deliberately avoided the crossing at all costs. in fact, I would even go so far as to avoid the whole area if I could.

We moved away because the memories we all faced each time we came near to this crossing caused too much heartache. My sister Julia, Steven's Mum, was the hardest hit. She lived with me, my Mum and Dad for many years. It took a long time for my sister to get over losing Steven. Eventually, she found some happiness and married Steven's father. They had two more children, both girls, both now beautiful young women. But I could tell Julia missed Steven every day until the day she died.

It took me a very long time too; for many years I struggled with blaming myself for Steven's death. Steven and I were often confused for brothers given our close ages. And in fact we liked it that way; we loved it. We lived like brothers too. When he was gone, I often wished I could see him once more.

The scene before me, however, was a sharp contrast to where I remember being just a mere few moments ago. I tried to remember how I had arrived here because I was literally, and geographically, many miles away.

I had been standing by the kitchen sink, washing the dirty dishes, and day-dreaming a little of how my life has changed; for the better too. I was distracted slightly by the way the sunlight was changing as the sun was setting, a seemingly fitting finale to a long day at work.

My daydream consisted mainly of the events in the last year. I'd been looking at my life and I was starting to accept the facts before me; that I would have to try and settle down into life as a bachelor. Exactly one year ago I'd met Sara, she had moved in with me a couple of months later and now we were looking at plans for our wedding.

While I was doing the dishes I mentioned to Sara that I'd been house-hunting in my lunch hour. I wanted Sara to have the best of everything.

"I'm happy right here George," she replied. "It's a lovely flat; we don't need to think about moving."

She was right of course. Our flat was fantastic, just the right size for us; not too big or too small. Soon, all being well, we'd be able to go looking for a bigger place. But not yet, there were far too many things to do first.

I was about to concede the point, again, but before I could reply the scene around me had changed to be this crossing. I'd changed my clothes too; now I was dressed for work in a dark blue suit and matching tie.