Player

The guy: Kim Taehyung

This is probably going to suck since I'm bad at expressing myself unlike Jungkook. Despite that, I guess it's fair to know the other side of me. In one way or another, I know that's what Jungkook would've wanted too. He's the one who taught me to always look at the good side of people. You can view the bad too but focus more on the good.

I'm a wreck, aren't I?

I let go of the person I should've been with in exchange for a 'better' one. I can feel a break up rising between Chantal and I. I couldn't take it anymore. Her actions, her character even her looks is making me sick to my stomach. No matter how many other man look at her differently, I no longer feel that way. It's fading and the only person I'm missing as days flew by is Jeon.

Call me ironic or a jerk or whatever you wish but it's true. Yes I'm dumb. Letting him go was one of the gravest mistake in my life. I can't deny that yet how can I not when I do is hurt him? As much as he hid it behind his gracious smile, I could see through it. He isn't happy. It breaks my heart. Someone like him deserves gold. A person who loves him wholeheartedly. Someone who wouldn't give up easily like me. Someone who would persevere, someone understanding. Most importantly, someone who wouldn't make him cry. Or frown, even.

Some may wonder, do I truly love Jeon Jungkook?

The answer is...

Yes. Yes I truly did.

It may be in past tense but trust me if I could have that feeling return in my heart again, I would want to have it on replay in order to never ever forget how it felt to love someone as wonderful as him. Someone as patient as him. Someone as loving, someone as adorable. Someone who makes me a better man instead of going back to my bad habits. Someone who loves me sincerely from the deepest depths of his heart.

Tell me I was the luckiest guy back then with him.

Yes indeed I was.

Jungkook never gave up on me. No matter how intolerable I was, he would continue to shower me with his positivity. His love was pure, so true I could feel it illuminating regardless how far apart we were. It is that powerful, that magnificent that anyone who sees him can sense the amount of love he had for me. It was clean, full of sincerity.

I was the only fool who couldn't see it.

He said he was attracted to my honesty yet all I do is deceive him. Making him believe everything was real. My lies lead us to the brink of our relationship. Even so, he sticked with me through thick and thin. Jungkook, you're wrong. I'm a dishonest guy. A cowardly bastard.

I'm bad at giving advices. Jeon on the other hand is a natural. An expert. He knows the right words to say to you at any situation. He'll comfort you even though he himself is having a rough day. I admire his strength. However there was one time he felt it went beyond the line. He was tired. Tired of comforting people when nobody was there for him.

I told him 'Hey please give yourself a break. You did more than enough. You kept comforting others, making sure they are okay. But do they do the same to you? No my dear. They leave you. I know you never give up easily but sometimes you need to back off. Not cause you don't care, it's cause your feelings matter too'

Being the stubborn person I know he is, he didn't adhere. He continued listening and advising people even though he himself was struggling to keep his life balanced. I can't help but sigh and smile at the same time.

In this era, would you even get the chance to stumble upon a golden hearted person?

No.

It's rare.

Similar to me, Jungkook doesn't have a luxurious life. He has constant financial problems and whatnot. The reason why he's working hard as a barista. It's exhausting, he said. But that's the only way to keep the income flowing every month.

Being an adult isn't easy, you see. We have to stabilize our own life at the best capability. We start to realize what's priority and an option. The people in your life will decrease drastically. Only the true ones will stay. You feel grateful for the ones who did and you simply smile at the ones who left because in one way or another, they made you grow into a much wiser person preventing you from repeating the same mistake again.

Speaking of leaving, I've made my decision. I'm leaving Chantal. She isn't the one for me. I can't bear with her shenanigans anymore. Like a bird, I want to be set free from its cage. Breaking up with her will unlock the cage and at long last, I'm free to spread my wings and fly far away.

Just breathe.

Did Jungkook said that too?

I'm sure he did.

We are both free.

Will fate allow us to cross paths again?

I hope so.