The Hangover!
Stu Price (Ed Helms): [singing] “What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? Don’t you worry your pretty striped head, we’re gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. And then we’re gonna find our best friend Doug, and then we’re gonna give him a best friend hug. Doug, Doug, oh, Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug! But if he’s been murdered by crystal meth tweakers, then we’re sh*t out of luck.”
Some like it hot
Jerry (Jack Lemmon): “Oh no you don’t! Osgood, I’m gonna level with you. We can’t get married at all.”
Osgood (Joe E. Brown): “Why not?”
Jerry: “Well, in the first place, I’m not a natural blonde.”
Osgood: “Doesn’t matter.”
Jerry: “I smoke! I smoke all the time!”
Osgood: “I don’t care.”
Jerry: “Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I’ve been living with a saxophone player.”
Osgood: “I forgive you.”
Jerry: [tragically] “I can never have children!”
Osgood: “We can adopt some.”
Jerry: “But you don’t understand, Osgood!”
[Finally gives up and pulls off his wig]
Jerry: “Ohh… I’m a man!”
Osgood: “Nobody’s perfect!”
Annie Halls
Alvy Singer (Woody Allen): “There’s an old joke. Um… two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of ‘em says, ’Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.’ The other one says, ‘Yeah, I know; and such small portions.’ Well, that’s essentially how I feel about life – full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it’s all over much too quickly.”
The wedding crashers
Jeremy Grey (Vince Vaughn): “Janice, I apologize to you if I don’t seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call ‘dating.’ I don’t like the feeling. You’re sitting there, you’re wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I’m not really interested, should I play like I’m interested but I’m not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she’s not interested? So all of the sudden I’m getting, I’m starting to get interested… And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it’s awkward, it’s like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you’re trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don’t kiss them at all? It’s very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you’re just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called ‘just the tip.’ Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you’re on my hair.
The 40 year old virgin
Andy Stitzer (Steve Carell): “You know what my problem is? I am not interesting. What am I supposed to say? I went to magic camp? That I’m an accomplished ventriloquist? Oh, I am the Seventh Degree Imperial Yo-Yo Master. ‘Ooh, do me, Yo-Yo Master, I want you to do me cause you’re the yo-yo guy!’
