1. I've you ever sad, just remember the earth is 4 billion years old and you managed to exist at the same time as Beyoncè
2. How I'm supposed to lose weight when the best part about life is food
3. *Arrives home* ahhh good, now I can be ugly in peace
4. How I flirt *Stares from distance*
5. me: *eats something unhealthy* also me: *If I drink a lot of water It'll be okay*
6. Calling me ugly isn't even an insult because I already know
7. "Be strong" I whisper to my WIFI signal
8. Life Hack: don't read through old massages
9. My parents say its their house, but when its time to clean it magically becomes my house too
10. Let's play a game called: "how much of this homework can I do in school tomorrow"