Can't Be Broken Again

It Wasn't A Nightmare

Hey guys! Here is the second chapter! I know the beginning is rushed. It's supposed to be that way. The way I wrote it was to show how the character isn't really taking in her surroundings, how she can't think properly. The second half is going to be more and you'll see why.

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My hair was perfect in its bun.

My black capped sleeve dress was wrinkle free.

My face was emtionless.

My head, although, was not empty. It kept processing what happened a week ago. Had it already been a week? Had it been that long?

It had been because here I was sitting in the first pew of St. Michael's Baptist Church looking at a priest who was saying a few words about my mother who was lying in the coffin behind him. Fresh tears sprung to my eyes, and slid down my face.

I had thought I'd cried so much already that I just couldn't possibly cry anymore, but I surprised myself when they didn't stop. Everyone around me rose to their feet, so I did the same and watched as the men who were closest to my mom and me carry her casket out the door. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and turned around. It was my Aunt Rose and I crumbled into her. She looked so much like my mom and acted like her too.

"Shhhh," she cooed, "It's gonna be ok, love."

She walked me out the door and to her car. I didn't question her when she started the car, but she didn't follow the funeral progression. Instead she went in the opposite direction.

"Where are we going?" I sniffled and blushed a little at my nasaly voice.

"Sweatpea, we are going for some rocky road ice cream. And then we're going to play a game your mom and I used to play when we were little called 'I Remember.' That sound ok?" She asked me. I smiled knowing she wasn't going to make me watch my mom being lowered into the ground.

We rode in silence to the ice cream shop and then we sat and watched the traffic drive by playing "I Remember." The game was basically saying, "I remember," before talking about a memory you had with a certain person. I was glad Aunt Rose had brought it up.

After we played that game and cried some more, we went back to her apartment. I couldn't go home after last week. Aunt Rose had packed all my things, and brought them over. Even the shoppin bags that held all the clothes my mom had bought me that night.

I hopped into bed after a quick shower, and fell into a nightmarish sleep.

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The next morning I woke up to no one in the house. Aunt Rose had left a message on the fridge that she had left to run some errands and wouldn't be back for a few hours. No doubt she was beginning to sort through Mom's things because I refused to do it.

So I grabbed a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but didn't pour any milk into it. A smile crept on my face as I remembered Mom asking me why I didn't eat it like "a normal person." I alwasy responded with a joke that made us both start laughing. Tears threatened to slide down my face, but I pushed them back. She wouldn't want me crying.

After eating, I crept into my room and threw on some shorts and a tight fitting pink t-shirt. I threw my hair up in a messy bun, and went to sort through the mail. Most of it woul be "I'm sorry for your loss" cards and I just did not want to deal with those today. Just as I sat down, the doorbell rang and Journey's Don't Stop Believing resounded around the vacant house. Aunt Rose always wanted a doorbell that played a song.

I got reluctantly off the couch, and went to the door. If this was another casserole I was slamming the door in their face. As I swung the door open, I was relieved when it wasn't another casserole. Instead a woman was standing in front of me with a gray business suit on. She smiled politely at me before looking down at her file.

"Stephanie Jackson?" She asked looking at me inquiringly. I nodded, and she smiled apolegetically at me, "I'm Angelice Brown with the Brown and Brown Firm."

The name rang a bell. Brown and Brown was a big lawyer franchise where I lived. She looked at me waiting for a response, so I gave her one, "What do you need?"

She looked a little thrown by my straight forwardness, but recovered quickly, "Your mother hired me to make out her will a few years ago after an accident at  work. Do you remember? Anyway, she asked me to help her make out her last testimony, and here I am. I know I should have come earlier, but I didn't know where to find you," she wrapped up. I stared blankly with shock running rampade on the inside. My mom had made a will?

I regained some composure, and ushered her in while asking, "What can I do for you today Ms. Brown?"

"Well I'm obligated by law to read to you her wishes which also includes where you'll be living now that your mother can no longer live with you," she stated nonchalantely like it was an everyday thing, but my heart broke as she said it becasue it was true. My mother could no longer live with me.

"Would you like some coffee?" I asked leading her into the breakfast nook. She sat down while giving a quick yes. I made her a coffee and grabbed a Monster from the fridge for myself.

We made small talk for about thirty minutes waiting for Aunt Rose to come back.  Since I wasn't eighteen yet a person of legal age had to be there while she red it. When Aunt Rose finally returned, she smiled politely at Ms. Brown and sat down in a chair next to me.

We sat there for God knows how long while she read me through all my mothers last words. When she finished she looked at me sadly. I didn't know why until she pulled out a photo of a man.

He was in his late thirties with brown hair, and green eyes. He had dimples surrounding the big smile he had. And there was a glint in his eye that hinted a mischevious mind.

"Who is this?" I asked while still staring at the photo. He looked familiar. Almost like I had already seen him somewhere before. I glanced at Aunt Rose to see if she knew, but she was staring off into space.

"This," she said tapping the photo, "is Robert Jackson, your father," she paused gauging my response. I didn't know how to respond, but then it hit me where I had seen him. Mom had kept an old aluminum bin under her bed of her early life. One day I had snuck in there and took a peek. Right on top had been this man's picture. Younger, yes, but still the same face.

"Stephanie, the last thing in your mother's will was her wish for you to live with your father if anything were to happen to her. She explained in detail what happened when you were younger, and I know you may have some unresolved feelings toward him, but by law, you are gonna have to go live with him," she explained to me. My father? The one who had walked out on us? The one who had never made one call to see how I was? That was who she wanted me to live with. Not Aunt Rose or someone I had known my whole life!!

"We already informed him of what happened a week ago, and he has already made all the preparations for you to live with him. The state can give you one day to get your things packed, but tomorrow he'll be at my office at 10 a.m. ready to take you home."

"Now wait one minute!" Exclaimed Aunt Rose. I could tell she was just as upset as I was becoming, "Stephanie is going to live with me. That man," she said while seething at the word man, "abandoned his family over sixteen years ago. He does not deserve to meet Stephanie nor live with her!"

"Ma'am I'm sorry," Ms. Brown said rising and collecting her papers,"but its what her mom said was going to happen. I'm gonna have to going now if I'm gonna make my next appointment on time. If you have any other questions call me at the firm. I'll see myself out," she stated. The front door banged shut and then she was gone.

I was in shock. There was no doubt about that. My mind was whirling with all these different scenarios that were bound to take place. He wouldn't like me and treat me badly. He would ignore me and let me fend for myself. He was probably remarried and I would be the one that didn't belong.

I breathed in and out trying to regain my composure. Aunt Rose came over to me and wrapped me in a secure hug.

I hugged her back before pulling away. A few tears were making there way down my face as I said with defeat, "Atleast I'll get to meet him, right?"