The ape and the toaster

The Date

Lara nervously adjusted the fork, straightened it up then settled back into her chair. It was all going to turn out ok she told herself, human and synthetic, it could work, why not, the agency had reassured her that despite the mix up it was all perfectly above board. Besides the pool for a potential suitor was decreasing as her generation looked to the off world colonies for adventure.....she sighed at their recklessness, a quality she did not possess.

Garp straightened his tie in the platen mirror of the elevator and stood back for a final check. It was all going to turn out ok he told himself, synthetic and human, it could work. Some even said it was the future, worryingly others did not. Perhaps he should consider an off world posting.....it was too late as the elevator door brushed open and a pristine food delivery specialist named Serge guided him to his table.

Serge saw many comings and goings in his restaurant and watched silently aghast at the awkwardness of the meeting. The couple stiffly acknowledged each other and both now sat with their heads buried in the menu, seemingly peeking over from time to time to check the other was still there. The bald head of the man glinting in the warm lighting, Serge found it almost physically painful and took his leave.

I should say something Garp thought......

I should say something Lara thought.......'I like your tie' a simple compliment she ventured bravely. Garp's hand grabbed for the tie, darn it, he knew it wasn't straight. 'Thank you' he replied 'I like your..........dress' he countered, it might have been a skirt he could never tell the difference. A pause hung in the air, the strangeness of the situation escaping neither of them yet on some level they both wanted to be here.

'Do you think this will become the new normal?' Garp asked tentatively, looking up and noticing for the first time the striking blue eyes that glanced up at him. 'I expect so' she replied 'there are so few pure humans left, they called it a glitch but I think they are just running out of options'.

'What did pure ever mean anyway' Garp added thoughtfully 'we are all derivatives of something that preceded us, one of us comes from a toaster the other an ape' Lara smiled at the rather peculiar thought and studied the curious little man on the other side of the table. Serge interrupted 'Can I take your order?' he asked 'Our special is a meat platter all grown right here in our own laboratory 100% synthetic'. 'That sounds delightful' they both chimed at the same time, easing the tension.

Perhaps this couple had a chance after all thought Serge as he walked away.

'Can you believe they actually used to slaughter real animals?' said Lara bewildered.

'I heard there were still wild sheep and the occasional goat in the contaminated zone, there are tours but for the life of me I can not imagine why you would want to go' they both laughed. Dinner arrived and they ate while relaxing into a pleasant conversation about the recent water shortages. Garp eased back in his chair as he finished the last of his meal, 'That was very pleasant, although the zebra was a little tough'

'I think they are still working on the texture' said Lara waving her fork at her almost cleared plate. Garp took a sip from the small glass of water that accompanied their meal. Feeling a little bolder 'Forgive me but I have to ask. why did you come on this date? surely when the agency placed us together you must have had your reservations?'

'Of course, and all my associates told me not to come, but then I studied the metrics. It turns out we are almost a perfect match, my customer services agent said he had never seen such compatibility'

Garp raised an eyebrow 'Really? Some in society would have us incarcerated, but times move on, the world is a very different place now we all must adapt, I like to think of myself as a trailblazer like our first settlers off world........at any moment I could be sucked out into the vacuum of space' they laughed at the ridiculous comparison.

'I'll admit it's a little unorthodox but ultimately we are not that different. Regardless of the mechanism we have all been programmed from the moment of our creation and who is to say we can't both end up as a match' Lara looked up not for the first time to grin at the little man. Garp was amazed at such a sentiment 'Perhaps so...... but there is one metric that seems to have totally escaped you'

'Really?' Lara raised an eyebrow 'What metric would that be?'

'Well it's probably one of the most primitive I admit but put simply you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, whilst I am what some would at best call an outlier' Garp chuckled at his own description of himself.

'It's the way you were made' Lara declared warmly and they both laughed.

Serge watched as the couple finished their dessert, he had seen many dates over the years and he could tell this one had gone well. Only the previous week one meal had ended in tears, he was shaken from his thoughts as the couple rose to leave. 'Was everything to your satisfaction?' He asked as they approached.

'It was marvellous' Garp enthused as he presented his wrist for scanning, the ration points quickly deducted from his account. Lara went to do the same only to find that Garp had already paid for both of them.

'I know' he fumbled ' terribly old fashioned and in no way do I think that you are not capable of paying for yourself, however in my preparation for this meal I had researched the etiquette on paying for a dinner date and it seems that paying increases the probability of a ......second date' he slowed as he realised what he had said. They walked in a renewed yet different awkward silence towards the elevator.

'I accept' Lara answered as the elevator arrived at their floor. She turned to face Garp 'This has been a most surprising evening, it is how I had always...dreamed a dinner date should be and I would be keen to repeat it, shall we say in one week from now?'

'Agreed' answered Garp a little bewildered, 'May I ask before we go, what does LARA stand for?'

'Laboratory Assistant Research Android'

'It suits you' Garp answered gently 'You know you are quite wonderful for a toaster'

Lara smiled 'and you are very surprising for an ape' the arrival of the elevator made them break their gaze.

Garp offered Lara his arm and they both stepped into a brave new world.