Introduction

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"I think I'll call my thing I Say Stupid Things Because I'm an Idiot and They Turn Out Humorous."

"Nah, too long."

"I'm an Idiot Who Speaks?"

"Yeah, perfect."

"That would be false advertising, I'm a genius."

Insane laughter. Either I hit the comedic mark or I really am perceived as an idiot. Possibly both.

This is to be some kind of collection of random remarks I have made that are apparently funny, most likely to my ever-so-lovely sibling, Jack, who has choked on pizza a few times this evening because of me.

I am not sorry.

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