To Henry.

February 12, 2016 11:56 pm

I was just in the shower thinking about you. Just like always. I miss the way we used to talk. It was always fun and never ending. But after you broke up with me, all I wanted was to go back to the way we talked. But now it's just all dry. Especially with you're "wow" "ok" "lol" responses. I do my best to start continue the conversation when you reply with such short messages. But tonight I was just thinking about the whole entire time we were "dating". When I asked you a few days ago about how confused I was when I didn't know what we were. I didn't know if we were friends with benefits or dating, as your response was. The true reason why I was confused was because you never told me how you felt about me. You never told me you liked me. Never. It never came out of your mouth. I was the only one saying it and most of the time you would just say yes I do when I asked you "do you like me?". Also you never told me how you felt about me or even told me that I look nice or beautiful today. You never complimented me out of the blue. Or if I asked if I looked okay, you'll just replied with "yeah." Sometimes I wish you felt the same way I felt about you. I wish you treated me like a girl that should treating like a f queen. Never. I feel like the only reason why I actually liked you was because you have me attention. No other boy would have and still probably won't. Maybe that's the reason why I'm still here waiting for you to take me back. I hate myself because of you. I hate myself for waiting for something to happen. I hate myself because I can't let go of you. Yes of course I still want you in my life, but it's just not the same anymore and I hate it. You're very special to me. I mean you were my first kiss. I mean under the mistletoe, which was f magical to me. You took something that was very special to me and I took yours too. You took me out when I felt sad. I look back to all the videos and photos we took from time to time and it just makes me so happy and I wish I could go back and forget that the break up ever happened. I was so happy with you, you made me smile you made look forward to seeing you ever Friday. Because it was our day. Now Fridays are just shîtty days hoping for you to text me "do you want to hang out, get some quicklys and talk" but no. I always get my hopes up and get disappointed always. My life sucks without you, I miss having someone to talk to and vent to and you somewhat caring would ask me why or listen but now your just like lol "oh cool".  I miss you I really do. I miss hearing your voice, it was so mellow and it relaxes me. I mean I admit I replied your story a couple of times to hear your voice. By the way you're still so f cute to me. I could stare at you all day. Creepy I know. It's funny how the things I say is the things I want to hear you say to me. Text me back soon please , sorry I'm so lame and can't continue a conversation. ❤️Goodnight. -kels