Keep in mind that while all this is going on I'm still being beat raw with anything and everything my "dad" could get his grimy hands on.
The depression kicked in around highschool. Primarily around the time that my best friend committed suicide. My grades dropped my clothes got darker I stopped caring about anything any and everything. I started mouthing and fighting and punching things. me and Noah were football buddies. We'd screw around on the line and push each other around making rude remarks, each trying to get the other to stop. Football was never the same when he left... I quit trying. Quit smiling. I was fed up with God at the time. We never really talked much before but that drew the line. I was done. My depression got the best of me and my music got deeper. I've always been big on music but in the time my depression would kick in, I'd slap on some headphones and let my music take me to another world filled with love and hate. Filled with passion. Music took me away from the real world. Made me feel as if I actually had a father. Or as if I actually knew what love was. Music was life. As only a select few of you know, I play electric bass. Not that great but I'm not terrible either. On the days that music wouldn't take me away like it used to I would crawl up to my room and slap on the bass a bit.
The emotional pain was only temporary, but the physical pain was ongoing. Whether it was from my dad and his beatings or from the assholes on the football field.
I've gotten better since then. My dad has been kicked out. Mom and dad have gotten a divorce. My anxiety and depression still act up but not as often as it used to.
I've never been one to talk about my feelings before but I have to vent before I explode. Never be afraid to show your feelings. Ever. Keeping them bottled hurts a shit ton more than just spewing them out like a waterfall. My suggestion? Listen to Nirvana, look up some Kurt quotes. Become a major metal head and forget all the bad parts in your life. Only remember the good ones.
Someone out there loves you. Don't give up. Ever.
YOU ARE READING
Our Story
Non-FictionI'm Jake, and this is my story, these are true events that have happened, not a very interesting subject but I figured someone had to know.
