In Love With My Brother

Denial

It was a rainy Sunday afternoon, Kyungsoo sit cross leg on his bed with a bunch of paper scatter in front of him along with text books and notebooks. He gets rid of distraction to be able to study for his final exams on the next day. "Aish all never understand these formulas. Why does calculus exist? Why does maths exist in the first place?" Kyungsoo said with frustration clearly in his tone.

Kyungsoo continue to study and try to absorb as much information's as possible because calculus wasn't his cup of tea and he has calculus exam the next day. After hours of mental abuse he decides to ask his older brother for help since Jun-Myeon ace every subjects, no one knows how he does it. Kyungsoo walks down the hallway to his brother's room. He lightly knock waiting for an answer.

"Come in" came in a voice on the other side. Kyungsoo enter the room only to be meet by a half naked Jun-Myeon sitting at his desk typing on a laptop. "H-hey hyung." Kyungsoo stammer a greeting. Kyungsoo couldn't stop the blush that made its way to his face. Jun-Myeon takes off his reading glasses, rub his eyes and face Kyungsoo.

" Why are you blushing like a teenage girl who just saw her crush?" Jun-Myeon ask raising an eyebrow at his younger brother.

"Nothing. Its just that you're not wearing any shirt." Kyungsoo answer back.

Jun-Myeon start laughing at his brother " jeez its not like you haven't seen me naked before. You're my brother pabo." He manes to say between laughter.

"I need your help with calculus hyung. I'm terrible at this thing and I have an exam tomorrow, I need to pass that exam if I want to graduate and get into a good college." Kyungsoo explain with the most adorable pout he could muster.

"No need for a puppy face, I'll help."

"Can you put a shirt on first?"

Jun-Myeon chuckles and put a T-shirt on, then follows kyungsoo to his room. "You see I don't get these things hyung. Maths is so hard I just get headaches by just looking at these equations. I loved maths when it was just numbers." Kyungsoo exclaims with a pout.

"Don't worry Kyungie, I'll help you ace that exam tomorrow." Jun-Myeon said. Jun-Myeon spend an hour explaining things to Kyungsoo and helping him solve problems. And in that little time Kyungsoo learn more than he ever did in calculus class. One of the reason is that Jun-Myeon makes everything seems easy and also answer his question with patience, if Jun-Myeon ever choose to become s teacher he would be a great teacher.

Jun-Myeon assigns some hard problems for Kyungsoo to solve to see if the younger understand. " I'm done." Kyungsoo exclaims then hands the book to his hyung. Jun-Myeon looks at the book checking to see if they correct, and to his surprise kyungsoo gets every last one of the problems correct.

"You did it dongsaeng! You get everything correct." Jun-Myeon said with a blinding smile and pat his dongsaeng's head affectionately.

"It's all thanks to you hyung. I hope I get a good grade on that exam tomorrow."

"You will, trust me." Kyungsoo looks at his brother and all negative thoughts leaves his mind. He trust his brother more than himself. If his brother tell him he'll do good on that exam, then he will. Kyungsoo feels someone poking his ribs and start squirming around, he didn't like when people do that its ticklish.

Kyungsoo start laughing but manage to say "Aish hyung stop. You know I'm ticklish." Jun-Myeon stop his abuse on poor kyungsoo's sides and lie down on the bed. When Kyungsoo manages to calm down his breathing he went for revenge. He straddle Jun-Myeon's waist and start to tickle his hyung. Now Jun-Myeon was the one begging for kyungsoo to stop and was dying with laughter.

Dinner was finally ready so Chaerum went to call the boys to eat. She stop dead on her tracks when she sees the scene in front of her and couldn't help bursting laughing. The two boys stop and turn to see their mom laughing at them. "What were you guys doing. I can't believyou guys still play like little children." She said

"Nothing mom." Kyungsoo said with a furious blush, he was so embarrassed. He gets up from his awkward position on his brother's waist. Hsi hyung seems unfaze by just what happened yet he was dying with embarrassment.

"Dinner is ready, come eat you guys must be starving from studying so much." Chaerum said before leaving the room. Kyungsoo and Jun-Myeon follow their mom downstairs into the dinning room.

The exams wasn't that hard thanks to Jun-Myeon's tutoring. Kyungsoo thinks he did well on that exam. Kyungsoo thinks about his hyung a lot and he wonders what that mean. Kyungsoo always wonder if its normal for his heart to skip a beat every time he thinks of his hyung. Is it normal for him to start blushing when he sees him without a shirt on. If it is normal to be jealous and envy of Jun-Myeon's ex girlfriend. Is it normal that he wants his hyung for himself and to spend the rest of his life with him. Kyungsoo might be a little naive but he knows that his feelings for his hyung is not brotherly and is also an abomination.

No matter how much time Kyungsoo has been denying the fact his love for his brother deep down he knows he's lying to himself. No matter how many times he tells himself that his feelings are brotherly he knows they aren't at all. Maybe its his raging hormones maybe just maybe if he get himself a girlfriend he won't see his hyung that way. Maybe he'll finally realize one does not and cannot be involve in a romantic relationship with their own brother. Not that Jun-Myeon would ever love him that way but kyungsoo is terribly ashamed of his feelings for his hyung.

Kyungsoo didn't want to move away to go to college. But now he realize his abominable feelings for his brother mayber he'll go away to college and start he's life over. And also get rid of his feelings for Jun-Myeon because his feelings are wrong in so so many ways. But before all of this things happen he have to graduate high school and he can't wait to leave this hell hole forever. College is probably a bigger hell hole. He thought.

Don't be a silent reader so make some noise. I apologize in advance for typos.