I hate looking into your eyes. The deep endless brown. They remind me of why I loved you. They remind me of how nice you can really be and how you hide that away. They remind me of my favorite moments. Talking to you, laughing at your jokes. You were so funny. Your eyes also remind me of how cold you can really be. Turning a blind eye to the tears forming in mine. They remind me of your cruelty. How you lie just to get what you want. Your eyes show all of the emotions you don't want them to. I can usually tell how you feel. The way they harden and soften. Your eyes are my best dreams and worst nightmares. I hate the love that shines in them when you look at her. I think back to the same look that I could still make out in the darkness leaning against you in your arms. Your eyes make me miss you. I shouldn't. I shouldn't forgive you. Your eyes remind me of the aching loneliness growing inside me. The fading gray of my eyes is as cold as ice. You made them that way. My once brimming with emotion eyes can't bear to look into yours. I often wonder what your thoughts are when your eyes lock with mine. An unreadable emotion fills them. It seems that is the only time that I can't read them, but maybe that's how mine are. Your eyes are endless. A void. I have always thought that. From the moment I met you. Your eyes stare me down and I feel like I am in a petri dish under a microscope. They also lift me up higher than the stars that shine in the sky. Your eyes once were everything to me. I don't know if they still are. Maybe. But one things for sure. I hate looking into your eyes.
-h.n.
