supernatural preferences

#2-His reaction to your death.

Dean:- "Babe? Are you still at Bobby's houes? Well, must be if you didn't answer. Uh, I'm getting groceries for tonight's dinner. I'll probably be a little late though because I'm stopping by at my sister's for a few things. Anyway, I'll see you when I get home. Love you so so so so much batman, tell cas, Bobby and Sammy I siad Hi okay then see ya later lover boy bye!-To play this message again, press-" I hung up the phone. This is the third time in the last hour that I've listened to that message. I sighed and rubbed my eyes, getting up from the couch. I was headed into the kitchen when I heard a knock at the door. "Dean! Open up." I threw the door open to see Sam waiting to be let in. "What do you want Sam?" I sighed, flopping down on the couch. "Nope, none of that. C'mon, it's been about six months now. We're going to see her." I shot up immediately and started retreating to my room. "Not going to happen, Sam." Before I reached the door to my room, he stepped in front of me and shoved me back a little. "No, we're going." He dragged me out to his car despite my protests and drove me down to the cemetery. "No, Sammy, please, don't make me go." I pleaded, my eyes filling with tears. He turned to me and sighed, "Deen, it's been six months. You can't just keep pretending it didn't happen. Listening to that voicemail as if she left it an hour ago and hoping she really is on her way isn't helping you accept what happened. You have to see the reality of it, and seeing where she's buried is the way to do it." He said as a tear escaped his own eye. "We've all accepted that we lost an amazing and beautiful friend, we can't imagine what it's like for you, you lost an amazing soul mate she give you hope when your down or depressed, always cared about you and loved you with all her heart." I looked out the window, catching a glimpse of her headstone. "There's no more flowers around her, Sammy. Can we at least go get some flowers?" I asked. "They're in the back seat, her favorite." We both got out, grabbed the flowers and headed towards her. All it took was seeing her name on the stone for me to break down. Sammy held me as I cried. "I love you. I love you so much and I miss you so damn much and I wish you were still here and I just, I really miss you." I said, placing the flowers near her. "Your laugh, smile, sence of humor, everything about you I miss. What happened wasn't fair. But I just want you to know I've accepted the fact that you won't come back. I really miss you, and I love you so much, it hurts a lot because I planned to do a lot of things to do with you like getting married, having babies and spending my whole life with the only women i love, i want to thank you because you believed in me and for loving me, I'm sorry princess I can't stay longer than that because I'll die from crying, loesing you was the biggest shock in my life and yeah.............We're gonna get going, this was too much for me today, but I promise I'll be back. I'll be back tomorrow, princess." I kissed the headstone, walked back to the car and hugged Sam as hard as I could. "You'll be alright Dean."
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Sam:- "Why couldn't I have died instead? She had so much left to live for...I should've been there," my shoulders shake as tears drip down my face. Dean gathers me in a hug and sniffs away a tear. "Don't say that, Sammy. You know you couldn't have saved her, stop blaming yourself," he says gently. i steps back and shake my head, "If I had been home, I could've stopped the Demon from killing her...but I was half way around the world hunting a stupid vampire. A hunt that means nothing! What good is doing hunting and all when I don't have..when I don't have HER." I break down I couldn't hold the tears anymore I already missing her smile, her eyes, her soft voice....."Why couldn't I have died instead?"......... i look down at the picture of her in my hands it was a picture of me and her on Christmas morning.....and a tear slip down my cheek, I don't know how I'm supposed to handle life without her anymore, without her walking behind me and ask me to give her a piggy-back ride, without waking up in the morning next to my baby..................
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cas:- "How could you do this? How could you just leave? I needed you! You were my world, you ARE my world. Why did you have to leave?" i pounds my fist on the grass, staring at her headstone with tears filling from my eyes. "You weren't ready to go..." i trails off. trying to channel my sadness of losing her into anger, but it just isn't working. "We never got to walk down the isle. Or have kids, we would've had the most beautiful children," i shakes my head and look up at the sky. "Why you had to go so soon, I don't know. I'll never know. I just hope, wherever we go when we're gone...I hope I see you again, cause now I only see you in my dreams."
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sorry if this chapter is suck I actually wrote this with tears in my eyes Dean was the longest sorry about that.......

xx~ princess nene