Looking at the sky, the stars. It makes me feel like nothing really matters in life, I guess love, family and friendship matter but It's not like we need it to live.
I think people forget how strange it is to be alive, really. Humans, we only have two purposes.
To reproduce, and pass on information. That's what I've learned from this movie I saw yesterday anyway.
But it's not like we had a choice right?
People say life is short, and I agree.
So I don't understand why we spend 4 years of our life feeling insecure and not good enough? I'm talking about the worst or best years of your life. High school.
That's how it was for me these past 4 years. I grew up too fast. Reality came in way too soon for me. People didn't understand me. So they decided they didn't like me, because I didn't look and acted like them. It wasn't a good time in my life.
But I was lucky enough to have an amazing best friend who helped me through all of it. If you look at our appearance you would never guess we are best friends.
I have brown hair, she's blond. I have big bold eyebrows, she has the perfect tweezed eyebrows in the exact right shade of brown for her baby blonde hair.
She's like the summer and I'm like the winter.
Funny enough her name is June.
Not that all of this really matters. What matters is that we understand each other or we'll try our best to. We became friends pretty young, because some random boy in kindergarten pushed me in the mud, and there she was my lifesaver.
She stood up for me, and I'm thankful for her ever since.
At this moment, I'm laying on fresh green grass, in the park, next to my best friend.
"Hey Ivia." She whispered. I know my name is not common but my mom wanted to name me Olivia and my dad wanted to name me Vivian so my aunt came with the name Ivia and my mom and dad really liked it.
It's been silent for a couple of minutes now with acoustic music on, playing low in the background.
"Hey June." I whispered back.
"Do you think we'll ever get more friends? Not that I'm not grateful for you. I'm super duper grateful, but sometimes I want to hang out with a group of friends you know?" She said way too fast.
I must admit, I have also thought about this a few times.
But then I realize how unsocial and awkward we are. Well me atleast.
"Maybe. I'm just happy I got you for now. I mean, It's only two more weeks till our senior year. And after that we go to College" I said.
"Don't remind me." She grunts. I look at her and force a small smile.
"Have you looked more into which college you want to go?"
"You know I want to come to New York with you, I just don't know what I want to do with my life yet."
"It's okay, you still have time to figure it out. And the worst thing that could happen is you wait a year or semester till you find out what you want to do."
I really want her to come with me to New York City. I have it all planned out. We could live together in a shoebox apartment and we could get coffee and drink it in Central Park. Have the life I always dreamed of.
But if she doesn't know it yet, and decides later that she wants to go somewhere else I don't want her feeling guilty about it.
*
It was around 10.15 pm. We are back at my house, my dad has to work so we have the place to our selves.
We are laying on my carpet watching a friends episode that we've seen probably a million times.
"June." I whined and gave her some puppy eyes.
"Oh I know that voice. You want something, and with that face you're making I'm guessing food and if I know you, which I do of course, you want some krispy kreme doughnuts." She said already grabbing my car keys.
"I love you I love you I love you." I said kissing her cheek a thousand times.
"You're the best."
"Yeah yeah, when I give you food you suddenly love me I get it, now hurry up it's a 25 minute drive and krispy kreme closes at 11pm on a sunday."
"Yes ma'am." I said on my way out, closing the door behind me.
I love Seattle weather. As a kid I always loved the rain. I loved playing in it, the sound of the drizzle against the window, the darkness, the clouds. The storms were my favorite. Now I still love it, just not the playing in it part anymore, and I hate driving in the rain. I love sitting in the car when it rains though, only if you have the right kind of music.
I'm staring out of the car window. June is driving because I'm a pretty anxious about driving on the highway. And it's raining pretty hard too. The trees fly by really fast. It makes me kind of sick so I close my eyes. I am almost fully asleep. Most of the time I fall asleep within 5 minutes when I'm in the car.
"Hey, you OK?" June asks. I opend my eyes and looked at her, nodding. "Can I please skip this song, it's summer for godsake?" Now it was her turn to whine. Have yourself a merry little Christmas was playing by Daniela Andrade, I loved this song very much. Her Christmas EP is amazing and I listen to it all year long. Well I listen to christmas songs all year long. It's music, so why can't I play it all year long? I think all songs should be equal. June didn't think that way. She hates winter, she hates the cold. And there fore she doesn't like Christmas. That and that she's never had a boyfriend around Christmas time which makes her hate it even more, It's the cuffing season after all. I love Christmas. My mom always made these amazing Christmas dinners, for the family. And she had a beautiful voice so we sung a lot of Christmas carols too. I miss her.
"We're here."
*
"One powdered cinnamon cake, maple iced glazed and one original glazed, please. Oh and two hazelnut lattes." June ordered.
"Aw, you know my order. How romantic. You're going to make someone very lucky later." I jumped on her back."Or if you end up alone and I end up alone, I'll be the lucky lady." I chuckled in her ear. "Get of my back you fat pig." I ignored her comment and slapped her bum.
There weren't many people here. Only round Bobby, the guy who is basically every night here. We call him that because, you probably guessed so, he's got a round tummy from all the donuts he eats, we literally see him everytime we come here. And two older woman, and a little child.
I climbed of her back and sat down in one of the booths. The one we always sit in. It's not the cutest place in town but it has the best donuts. And it stays open till 11 on weekdays and midnight in the weekends, I always like my donuts at night.
I'm definetly a night owl but I do like to wake up kind of early in the morning which is a weird and unhealthy habit. I guess I need little sleep to function. On school days I fall asleep around 1.30 and wake up at 6, and on the weekends I fall asleep around 4ish, and wake up at 8. I'm a morning and night person at the same time.
"Here you go madame." She said in a, on purpose, bad french accent. June placed the things I (well technically she) ordered in front of me. "I have no idea how I ever deserved you."
*
June and I are one of the most boring people on the planet. We are back at my house in my room and we are both laying on my bed reading and listening to music. And it's not like we do this once a week to relax or something. We do this everyday. And to mix it up sometimes, we watch a movie or friends. June was right, we really do need more friends. I have a feeling this is going to be a whole new and exciting year for the both of us.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
