Where to Begin?

Chapter 1

     I saw the trees flash by in a blur. The warm, damp ground squished beneath my feet. My heart was racing. I suddenly realized I was running, but I did not know why. I looked back, but saw nothing. A voice told me to keep running, that it was dangerous. But what was it? I did not know what it was and felt I didn't want to find out. so I kept running. Running so hard, it felt like I was flying. And suddenly, I was flying! Now with me being terrified of heights, you can imagine my reaction to this. I flew up straight through the trees and into total darkness. I did not know how long I was there, but suddenly, the space filled with an unfamiliar voice. It seemed to be coming from everywhere, from the darkness that surrounded me. Come, it said. Come closer. I need...

     "What do you need?" I whispered as my eyes slowly adjusted to the dark. I was walking on clouds. And of course, I knew the answer to my question, but like every other time, could not remember a thing.

     Come, it whispered in its snake like voice, the words gently caressing my soul. Need... Mother... Help her... Finally, something emerged from the darkness, and I was not alone. The dark, featureless silhouette came forward and slowly merged with my body. Show you... He said, and suddenly I was falling. I closed my eyes as the cool breeze touched my skin. As we came to a stop, I opened my eyes and found my self standing across from my mother.

     "Mom?" I whispered, surprised to see her as I always was. "What are you doing here?"

     "Janie." My mother said calmly, her eyes closed, as though she were deep in thought. "I must talk to you."

     "But..." I said. "You're supposed to be dead. You are dead. How am I talking to you?"

     "I am dead." She replied slowly, her eyes opening. "But death is not as it seems Janie. You must learn that before it's too late." She paused and looked beside her, as though listening to an unseen person speaking.

     "I must go now Janie." She explained. "Be strong and stay out of trouble."

     "Wait!" I called as she started to disappear. "But Mom! You just go here! Wait! I want to come with you!"

     "Not now." She said, her voice growing fainter. "Another time. Now is not right." And she disappeared. The dark figure came back and merged with me again. But suddenly, I was no longer flying upwards, towards the darkness I had hated.

     I was back in the cold log cabin on my bunk bed, lying just below Nick, my brother, screaming. He woke up with a start and asked me what was wrong.

     "Just another nightmare." I said, groaning.

     "Can you remember any of it?" He asked me as he got out of bed and started getting dressed.

     "No," I said with a sigh. "I can never remember any of them. I wish I could, but the only thing I know is that they started after Mom died..." Nick froze, and I knew that was something I had not mentioned before.

     "Why didn't you tell me that when you saw how concerned I was?" He asked, turning to look at me. I stared down at the floor of our cabin.

     "I don't know," I said softly. "I guess I thought it might be too much for you. You took her death the hardest, even harder than Dad."

     "That's because Dad didn't give a shit about Mom! He said, getting angry. "He just wanted kids so he wouldn't have to be the only childless guy around work!"

     "You know that's not true," I said, trying to calm him down with my soothing voice. "So why do you keep saying it?" I reached out and touched his arm. It was burning under my cold fingers, but I didn't mind. It was comforting him and that was all that mattered.

     "I don't know," he said, sitting on my bunk. "I guess it just seemed weird to me that after her death, he didn't seem dead at all. He didn't even cry at her funeral or say any last words about her! He just left! So I guess after all that, I just started blaming him for her death."

     "Dad would never do that." I told him reassuringly. "He loved her to death. He would've never let her get hurt.

     "Yeah, I guess you're right." Nick said. He looked out the one window we had and noticed that the sun had already come up. "We better get a move on," he said, pulling the rest of his clothes on. "Or we might miss the train."