The S(uicide) Word

dedication

From the author: 

The S Word: In loving memory of Jordyn Keeley.   

A few days ago my sister woke me up a couple of minutes early for school. Disoriented, I tried to make sense of her words as she said, "Did you hear about the girl in the next town over?" I didn't really understand what she was saying; this is how things are in the morning. I don't really get it. So my little sister left the room to go talk to my parents instead. I fell instantly back asleep and got up to go to the bathroom once my alarm went off. Really, that's how it is for me. I don't actually wake up until I'm waiting at the bus stop in the cold and have realized that I didn't eat breakfast. 

My little sister came out of my parents bedroom at the same time I was walking out of the bathroom. Once again she asked me, "Did you hear about the girl in the next town over?"

A little more awake I said, "who are you talking about?"

Erin answered, "Some girl killed herself last night. My friends are all talking about it. She was really beautiful, Bree." It was a little bit shocking, yeah. I stared at Erin as if to say oh my god, her poor family. But it didn't hurt me.  I got dressed and woke up at the bus stop when my stomach growled and my skin prickled in the cold. It's really cold in the winter where I live. 

I got off my bus and boarded my transfer bus, exhausted. Plugged in some headphones because the girls on the ride are annoying. I was playing solitaire on my phone when I got a text message from a group chat me and my friends are in. 

Now, I go to a private school. Girls from all over attend. One particular friend of mine lives in that town where the girl killed herself. She said, "guys, please promise me you'll never kill yourself. It's one of the most selfish things to do and it's just not worth it."  She told me that this girl used to go to our private school- back in the middle grades. I didn't realize. I didn't realize how many people were hurting. 

But, hell, I was about to find out. 

The S Word: In loving memory of Jordyn Keeley.