Alone together (A Roc Royal love story)

Well my hearts been racing,

chasing after you

you're the sweetest dream, my incredible you,

       I had my headphones in listening to "Alone together" by Marsha Ambrosius ft. Daley. It was my favorite song to listen to. Just knowing that maybe there was someone out there that felt the way that i do all the time.... alone. If there was i would like to meet him. Someone who understands me and the way that i feel. 

       Ever since my family moved away form me i've had no one, and i mean no one. Till this day i still question why they really left me. I mean i know that they never really loved me but, just why. I don't know how they could be so cruel. All these birthdays that i've spent alone.....

        Know i'm 18 i have an old calender just to keep up with stuff. My parents left me in an old abandoned house when i was only 12. I had to walk 26 miles just to find my way back. I would have hitch hiked but i figured after all that i have been through i didn't need some old perverted man to pick me up, rape me, and kill me. 

          My parents never really loved me. They always called me " The devil child" even though my real name was Sierra, and they always beat me. Eventually the scars went away physically, but mentally they're still there.... 

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         I played alone together on my old iPod. I couldn't really afford nice things because my job wasn't paying that. I mean with me being 18 and working at a fast food restaurant money just When i was 12 my mother walked out on my and my father. After that times got really tough. 

          My father was working now twice as hard as he ever did. I even started working. I was mowing lawns. Te money was cool but not enough to get us back on the level to where we were when my mother was here. I never knew why she really walked out. But i don't worry about her or her walking out anymore. I've gotten over it. 

           But things got harder when my father was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer. He wasn't able to work anymore because he was too sick. At the time i was only 15, so the best i could do was work at a fast food restaurant and mow lawns. But that still couldn't get us where we needed to be. I didn't even have enough money to pay for medical bills. So we were in debt. Sooner or later i paid it off but that was shortly after my father passed away.

           I felt like ever since he was diagnosed he was laying in his death bed. I started to blame myself. I don't know why but after he died this hint of guilt was inside me. I felt like it was my fault that my mother walked out on us, which led to my father getting cancer and dying. I was going to school now. But with the whole my mom leaving and the cancer thing i was so stressed out in that my education wasn't good enough for me to get into a good college so i go to a community college.

          I'm still hoping that i can make it some where. My dream is to play football. I could imagine it right now "Chresanto August the best NFL player of all time" I sighed at the thought of it. Just to know there is a 1 in a million chance of that happening. I always dreamed to meet someone like me. Someone who would understand being alone like i do. I highly doubt that would happen. Every time i meet someone i don't do anything but push them. Just because of my mother i can't trust anymore. But if i ever did meet that someone i would never ever let them go.....