Josh

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(Trigger warning)

I've never been comfortable with myself. I've never felt that the person that I looked in the mirror is me. "She was not me. She is not me. She is not me. I would say these when a person called me her, but I could never tell them who I actually was.

I told my best friend, Debby, about how I felt. She accepted me.

I told my mom, she accepted me.

I told my father, he hit me when my mom wasn't looking.

He continues to call me my birth name, Jennifer.
I hated that name. I hated who "she" was. I hated what she looked liked and how she acted. I hated everything about her.

Yet, he continued to call me that.
He continued to scream and call me names and hit me.

My mom caught him before he hit me one time.
She yelled at him.
But he stayed.

(TRIGGER WARNING)
A couple weeks later I tried to kill myself. I wanted to overdose but my sister caught me called an ambulance.

My father didn't come to check on me that day.
Neither did my mom.

But my sister stayed. And that was all it took for me to break.

When I was able to leave the hospital a couple of weeks later my mom and father (I don't like calling him dad) sat me down at the kitchen table.

My mom explained how they won't except me changing my gender.
They want to keep their little princess. They want to keep their little girl.

I left

I packed many clothes of mine and I left my house.

I didn't know where I was going. I couldn't see through the tears that were threatening to fall at any moment. I ended up going to my best friend, Brendon's house.

He accepted me, he even called me by the name I wanted, Josh.

Josh is who I am. Josh is the real me.

My mom called later that night to make sure I wasn't on the street. When she asked I hung up.

My sister Abigail called me. She asked me if I was alright and if I was safe. I told her I was at Brendon's house but not to tell my mom or father. She told me she wouldn't. Then I said my goodbyes.

And that was it

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Alrightie here is the first chapter of my book. So in this chapter was just a background of Josh's childhood. Next will be Tyler's

So yeah guess that's it byee fens

Stay alive |-/

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