The Jerk and the Romantic Girl

Coffie Splashed

Love. What is love?

I actually know what feels to be in love or at least i think i know what it feels like. I had been in love twice for now.

The first time it was in fifth grade, 10 years old, yep! His name was Mason Richardson and it took three years to me to fall out from him, he really was a great boy but sadly he had to change school, leaving me with my first broken heart.

But the second time was the worst one. Senior year of high school, one year later my parents death. Matthew Hills. Dark blond hair, green eyes, deep voice and cute, irresistible dimples whenever he smiled. A wonderful drummer and one of the best students of John Monroe High School in Bronx. I always had liked him, a great guy, kind with everyone and, who I started to believe that liked me back, because of his frequent smiles whenever he saw me. One day when i was taking my books from the locker i saw him with a girl, Amanda Grant who was sucking up the life out of him, and Matthew.. well he seemed really happy according to his hands all over her. The moment after i saw all that.. monstrosity i was in the girls toilet spewing my soul out. I cried every night for a couple of months after that episode.

Since then i'd never fall in love. I just couldn't bear to feel that crap again, but I still am the same romantic girl. I still Watch romantic movies every evening with my best friend and housemate Lily still read romantic novels and still dream to find that perfect boy that could never hurt me and has eyes only for me.

I still live in New York but recently moved to Manhattan, my parents died ten years ago in a car accident, when i was sixteen, since then for the following three years uncle Jack an aunt Mary took care of my brother and I, then,seven years ago my brother joined the army. Now he's in Afghanistan and there is no day that passes without i do not pray that my brother comes back to me safe and sound.

When he told me that he was going to join the army, I could really do anything, that had alway been his dream since we were little, but I remember being angry at him 'cause damn! he was my big brother and he was supposed to protect me, especially after our parents death! but than again I couldn't bear to be angry at him for much time, he is my only family apart from uncle Jack and aunt Rose, and i love him, I could never be really angry with him.

But here I am. Just graduated, desperately seeking for a job in the world of architecture or at least since i'm looking for a month now, any job would be great for the moment, just to have the money for the rent that I share with Lily.

it's 9:00 am. I need coffee. I put on a plain withe t-shirt an a pair of denims and then I rush to the Starbucks where works Lily.

"Hey! You got up! I thought you were dead or something" greets me Lily as soon as she sees me.

I snort. Yesterday was insane, I walked for at least nine hours visiting any interior deign studio showing my degree and all my projects but still, wasn't enough. They all said almost the same thing: I had to have more experience in the field.

Wtf? How am i supposed to have experience if anyone is willing to give me something to work on?

When I came back home i had the time only to change my clothes and put the pajama then i just collapsed on the bed.

"I didn't find anything.. God, what i'm going to do if I don't find anything? eight years. I could have threw away eight years of my life!" I cried out, covering my face with my hands.

"shh, you didn't threw nothing, I'm sure that when the time comes you'll find what you're seeking-"

"Oh thanks Yoda. I'm just wondering when that gonna be!"

"-but for now, I think you should stop looking as an architect and start to look for another kind of job, just for now.."

"I know, I also thought that.. any chance here?" She smiled apologetically.