Maybe its about time to stop
Stop thinking about you
Stop thinking about "us"
Or what could have been
Or what might
Or our maybes
And what ifs
Maybe its about time i should stop torturing myself
From the possiblity of saying "Yes"
Of letting things happen and flow
And not stopping them before anything started
Maybe its about time i give up
But you know what's really torturing me
I seem to be going down without a fight
Like I just let things happen because my freaking pride won't let me do anything
It's like a bitter pill I'm scared to swallow
Even though I know it'll make me feel better
I filled my last days of 2015 thinking about you
And it's starting to become an obsession
If you've already moved on and loving someone else
And if she's reciprocating that kind of love
Because saying Yes to you scared me and make me cower in fear
And I start retreating back towards my shell
Not even the spark of possibility of becoming happy lure me out
I even have the audacity to tell you my incapability of love
When the truth was I just didn't let myself feel anything
For fear of course
It's like loving someone can be a terrible mistake
It's like I don't want to be judged
By whom?
Others I guess.
I guess I care too much with what they think more than what you might think
But then how can you take back words like "you deserve someone who'll love you more than you'll love her"
How can you say you take everything back from that night where everything has gone downward spiral
I don't even know where those words came from
And now it ruined everything
It ruined "us"
And I still think it was a bullshitty thing to tell you those things
Just because I like romanticizing things
And tragedy is all I ever experience
And that's what I'm expecting our story would end
Stupid of me, right?
It's a brand new year
Maybe its about time to learn about courage
And fighting
And slaying dragons
And holding on to something or someone you love
Maybe its about time I decide I deserved to be happy
