Bad Dreams

Prolog

Him

I don't think that she'll ever look at me the same way, but I'm almost thankful for that. Almost. That day changed us forever. For better and for worse. Like I said, I'm almost thankful. But it doesn't excuse what she did.
The halls in this place seem to get colder and darker as I walk through them. I feel them closing in on me. Then, I see her. In all her glory. With some guys arm wrapped around her shoulders. She looks uncomfortable. I know why. I will always know why. Her blond hair lies loosely around her shoulders. Her blue eyes look empty. She used to be so vibrant and colorful, but she changed. And so did I. I had spent so many months after that day pounding my fists into the concrete walls, I couldn't feel anything. No pain. No emotion. Nothing. How did I become a living, breathing ghost? Well I'll tell you how.

We were young. We were hopelessly in love. Doesn't happen often, but it did for us. It actually didn't fall far from those old Disney movies we used to watch, when we were younger. When we were innocent and beautiful. We were Belle and the Beast in our own world (not quite France), each of us longing to be understood. To be free birds, aloft on the spring breeze. Or was it Shakespeare? Is, or was, she the Juliet to my Romeo? As a matter of fact I hope not, because I don't exactly look forward to dying... Well, not yet.

I'm honestly not sure about that, which is what scares me more than anything. I'm most likely overreacting. I overthink everything, and this could be no different from that; yet at the same time, this entire subject could potentially change my life, for better or worse. At this point, I'm not even sure that I would mind the change being negative, but I can't be sure. If anything's for certain, it's that nothing is for certain. That could even be the ultimate certainty of life, but who knows. Don't you just love paradoxes?

In case you, the readers, haven't noticed, I'm going to "break the fourth wall" often in this story. Because it is a story, a retelling of the events that brought us to this day, I can't help but at least try to make a connection. You have to know me to understand the whole sequence of events and whatnot, so why not get to know me? I figured that you'd have to eventually anyways.

No, I am not depressed.

I had myself tested for that several times. Three to be specific. I was "perfectly fine" to everyone else. I can understand that to a degree. No one looks at a fluffy, white cloud and sees a storm brewing inside it, not until it is gray and ominous. Until it peaks.

Personally, no, I don't agree; at the same time I agree completely. Nobody seems to know what's wrong with me, but I do. It's something I like to call true love. Just like Romeo and Juliet.

The feeling is inexcusable. One day, you can be the king of the world, but in one decisive moment, a single mistake can topple you from your fortress of happiness. As I fell head over heels over the tall ramparts, I lost a part of myself not easily regained, and I have a saying I just made up that describes it well enough, at least better than I could in less words. Shakespeare was a rather average man when he grew famous for his inventions and quotes, so what reason do I need in order to start my career in famous literature now? "The worst feeling in the world, other than heartbreak, is uncertainty." That could very well be it, another truth for our crazy world to bear.

Who knows, maybe our world needs more crazy truths like these. I sometimes feel safer in my near childish uncertainty and fear of the future than I do trying to sort out what's real and what's simply an illusion in society. People and feelings can be as fake as reality television, which is really saying something. I'm nearly glad that my feelings are true, for no matter how much they hurt and confuse me, they are the only things I can trust sometimes. I prefer to turn to my friends for help and advice, but friends don't always cut it, at least not in my experience. Luckily enough for me, I have a few people in my life that I feel I can rely on to stay by my side, no matter what happens, and no matter the consequences.

Right now, I just hope that she is one of those few.

I hope you guys like this and I hope TJ doesn' kill me for posting this. I just really loved it and wanted to share it with all of you guys. Lots of love! Don't be a stranger!
-Trinity