What Hurts the Most

Chapter Four

     Walking out to my car, I was fighting the urge to bawl my eyes out. I had to get to Alyssa's, and if I cried I wouldn't be able to see. I turned the ignition and sat there for a minute, wiping away the tears and fixing my make up. I finally put the car in drive, and headed to her house.

     All the trees and bushes and houses looked like a blur. Partly because my eyes were still blurry, and partly because I couldn't focus. It seemed like everything in my life was falling apart. The only thing that was good, was Austin. And lets face it, he isn't even good. I mean, his nickname is Potty, he does drugs, and hangs around mostly slackers. I don't care about the drugs, honestly I don't get why its such a big deal if someone does them. Its their life, and alcohol is just as bad. I don't really care about the slackers either, because I am one. To everyone else, he's a bad guy, but around me he's perfect.

     I pulled up to Alyssa's with these thoughts in my head. I couldn't tell anyone else, because they would just call me weird, so I decided to shake them out of my head.

     "Hey, you ready?" I said as she got in the passenger's seat. She nodded her head, and gave me directions to the farm.

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     It was late when I got home, and I smelled like manure so I decided to grab a shower. Afterwards, I came downstairs and saw my mom still up, watching some old movie.

     "You want my bedroom? I moved all my stuff into the guest room. Its bigger than your's." she said when she noticed me standing on the stairs.

     "Uh, sure. Why don't you want it?"

     "I just don't want to sleep in there anymore. You need the space more then I do." she explained, turning back to her movie.

     I walked back up the stairs, into my parents now old room. It looked so empty, but so perfect. Everything was gone, the only things remaining were the marks on the carpet where furniture used to be. Closing the door quietly, I walked over to a corner where my dad used to sit in his favorite chair and play on his laptop for hours. I sat down, wrapping my arms around my knees, and started crying all over again, as I realized the similarities between me and the room.

 

 

     I woke up around 12 the next morning to a text from Austin

     "So I hear you and Justin are going to the movies." What? Where did he hear that from? I talked to his friend Justin sometimes and he seems pretty cool, but I never said anything about movies. Justin likes me but I definatly don't return the feelings.

     "No.. he likes me, but I don't like him like that." I assured him. I didn't want him to think I liked Justin, when I like him.

     "Oh, good." Good?

     "Why good?"

     "No reason."  Okay, this is weird. Is he jealous? Oh my gosh, he is jealous! Hmm... I could work with this.

     "Alright.. I might go with him to the movies as friends though, I'm home alone and really bored."

     "No, you should totally hang with me today. I'm at the park." Perfect, it worked!

     "Sure. I'll be there in fifteen." I quickly got up and changed into my holey jeans and a Bob Marley racer back tank top. I put a little eye liner and mascara, brushed my teeth, scrunched my hair, then left. The park was only two minutes away and I didn't want to seem desperate, so I took the long way, getting there five minutes late. I figure making him wait was good for him.