You know I never really knew you that much
And what you were doing I always had a hunch
But I just never expected it to be this bad
Wasn't expecting to end up this sad
I know you're probably in Heaven right now looking down at me as I write this song
Thinking why thinking about you took so long
Like I said, I never really knew you but I feel like I do
So now I just lay here and stay missing you
It all just makes me feel oh so blue
Drugs aren't stupid but the people who use them usually are
But you, you were something different
Never thought of you as stupid just thought of you as mistreated
I thought, "Why the hell didn't anyone help and get him treated"
You must've felt really mistreated
You must've felt so disrespected
And now we're dressed in black from head to toe
Frowning frowns and not letting the feelings show
It was only the second time I've seen and heard my father cry
I still don't know how he got by
I mean, if it was my brother, I probably would've died
But now I can't seem to even shed a tear
But nor can I quite cheer
It's like that feeling when someone in your friend's family dies
You wanna die but you can't cry
But hell you killed yourself and it fuckin' kills me
Feelin' bad for my dad and now his only three brothers
Feelin' bad for your and their mother
And yeah I know the person absent was the father
This is something that makes me quiver
Drugs, depression, and everything in between ruined you
Now everyone is saying that they're missing you
But if that's the case, then why did I barely ever see you?
When my dad last called, you thought I was like 10
And this is what hurts once again
Knowing you didn't really know me and now you are dead
Usually I would say I just roll with it, but I ain't feeling it
'Cause I'm missing it, and now I'm dissing it
Just don't know what it is, yet again I didn't know what it was
But I guess nothing ever really feels like enough
And now I'm just sad and out of luck
Never knew it would hit me like this
Thought the thoughts would just resist
They all just made me feel, I insist
Everything was so tense the next morning
Everyone was in a state of mourning
Feelings of some were fake and corny
Yet again I guess you just never know
Some people just don't let it show
Now you're dead and that is that
All because of an addiction to crack
But traits that were supposedly lacked
From what I could tell, you had them all
You sure as hell knew how to ball
You were also quite tall
You were so kind, wanted to know more about my brother and I
The drugs screwed up your mind but unlike others your heart stayed untouched
I think this is what makes me oh so touched
Why I'm missing you so much
And now I'm just sitting here
Trying so hard not to shed a tear
But this is making it hard to listen, hard to hear
Because I was gonna call you someday but I never got to that day
Oh, it's far too late
It feels the opposite of great
I don't even know what you looked like
Never got advice but I guess that's better than bad advice
And you can be certain I'm not gonna lie
But this is so hard for me
Being a teenager there are things that seem tempting
Drugs ain't one for me
Now I don't know how to address my peers
Don't know what Imma do if they talk about dealing or goin' to the tracks after school
I will say I'll probably lose my cool
There's this girl that got her money on that Imma become addicted
Well guess me and her are gonna become conflicted
Because all I see is affliction
After this I can't see myself falling into addiction
And I'll end it all by saying this
These are things I do insist
Your time on Earth was far too wrong and far too short
I guess this is what really hurts
But you did teach me things, despite you being gone and us barely speaking
All of these thoughts I'm finally leaking
One, never get addicted to drugs
Don't wanna ruin my life, don't wanna ruin my family
Might mess up a couple times but I guess that's alright
Another thing, everything gonna be alright
My dad is looking at all the damn light
Gotta look to you for that
Last thing, always be kind
No matter where I'm at in my life
That doesn't give me the right to hate, steal, or lie
Because someday Imma die
And maybe no one will cry
Therefore, I will die once again
So thanks to you there is so much to gain
You might be lost but I certainly did not lose
Because you're still here, yeah you
You just were mistreated in this unfair world
But I guess it's fair because it treats everyone so unfairly
And that's the thing that hurts, that's the part that makes it so deadly
So Rest In Peace in Heaven
It is the safest of havens
I'll join you someday, and maybe we can learn more about each other
We can live the afterlife together
