Close as Strangers ➵ l.h/c.h

7

Y/N

Maybe running away was bad. Maybe loving him was bad. If I just would've turned him into the police, I wouldn't be a mess right now.

I'm in love with Luke. Maybe; I wouldn't have gone a stupid road trip with a murderer that I didn't know a thing about, I wouldn't be a love struck whore that slept with her ex/boy friend's best friend.

Yeah, I'm a whore. I called myself one. It's messed up. I'm messed up. Everyone is messed up. But this is truly messed up.

I'm fucked. No boyfriend, no cousin, no best friend, no dad, no mom. I'm alone right now. Maybe that's what I need. Maybe if I were with people, I'd go out on them too, and make this more messed up than it already is.

Maybe is the key word. I'll never find out though. Maybe is always a word I use to exaggerate about what would've happened if something else wouldn't have happened. Like, there's really no point for that. It's done and over with, no changing it.

"Y/n?" I hear a voice say. I knew who it is, but I just don't want to think about his name right now. I look up him.

"Sorry if I scared you. Sorry about everything actually," he says. "No it's all my fault, not yours," I say.

"If only Luke knew. You need to talk to him," he says. "My cousin, Ashton is completely ashamed of me right now. Michael, he probably is mad at me. Luke, he shouldn't be around me," I say.

"Then talk to me," he says. "Calum, you know I don't feel comfortable around you now," I say. "I know. But if you would just talk to me, maybe I can help you. Trust me, I'm done with the fuck-your-best-friend's-girlfriend deal. I want you and Luke to be happy, and together," he says,

"I'm a whore," I say. "Stop," he says. "Calum, what if I will be alone forever. No one to talk to, no one's shoulder to cry on. I'm alone right now," I say, bursting in tears now.

"Calum, please tell me if I can tell everything I need to right now," I say. "You can," he says. He pulls me in for a hug and when the hug ended he looked at me. "Now tell me everything," he says.

"I was thinking, right before you got here, about what would over happened of none of this came to be. And I was really wishing that, I could restart all of this. I wish I could take back meeting Luke. I love him, but I think I love him too much. So much that I want to just cuddle with him, kiss him, just love him all the time," I say.

Calum looks at me and nods, waiting for me to continue. "I've never felt like this before about any of my boyfriends. Luke is special. I don't know what it is," I say.

"Love is confusing. You just gotta know, you can't give it up at any cost. It's there forever," he says. "Calum, you're the best listener. You listen to my rambling, and you know, I appreciate that so much. You're my shoulder," I say.

And you're my tears," he says. I say, "I love Luke. He an expectation that turned into a realty. My realty is confusing. One minute I want him there, the next I don't. But now I do know he's there, and this time I'm not letting him escape realty."