Killing Myself ✔

Problem 01

This is all about first person point of view called "me", but it's not myself of course. I don't know where this such kind of idea. Just floating out of my head. Happy reading...

First problem: Alone.

Yeah, there are nobody care for me, nor myself. I have some sort of people called friends around me, but it seemed like they were not real.

I have to admit it, I hate around people. I love being lonely. I know, it hurts me, but it many countless.

"Hey. 'Lone again, did you?" asks Emily. One of 'my mind'.

"Yeah, I did. Why?" ask me.

"Mind if we join you?" ask Sasha, the other side of 'my mind'.

"No problem. You may."

There is a long silence after that.

As for you know, Emily is my dark side and Sasha is my lighter side. They both seem to confront, especially when I was panicking or confused or something like that.

I look around. I am sitting in front of a building which have to be known as my class. There are many people walking and just pass, ignoring my presence. I don't really mind it.

I have to hold back my tears. I don't want to look weak and weird.

"Hey, don't cry..." said Sasha is trying to calming me.

"Yeah, it's disgusting. You'll look... bad..." said Emily.

"I know. Don't try to say something like that anymore or I'll kill both of you."

"You'll kill yourself if you kill us! Don't dare to do that," said Sasha.

"Huh. Go on. If you brave enough to kill yourself, then," challenge Emily.

I took a deep breath.

I hate it. I know I love loneliness, but I need someone near me to talk to.

"I need to see God so I can ask... him/her what I have to do."

"Oh? Enlighten me," said Emily.

Sasha becomes silent immediately.

"But I'll do it later."

"What?!" yells Emily.

"Of course I can't! It's a public place, I should do it at home."

I can hear both Emily and Sasha breathing heavily. Wow.

"Hey, what are you doing here alone?"

Alone...

Argh! Here is the annoying one. His name is Ou.

"Sit."

"Mind if I join you?" ask him with a warm smile.

"Don't!" yell Emily.

"Whatever you want."

He sits beside me, carefully take a look at my 'Chinese lookalike' eyes.

I look away trying to avoid his gaze.

Silence ate the both of us.

"I've told you. Don't. But you didn't listen to me," said Emily roughly.

Sasha giggles lightly, "I guess you like his presence."

"Oh would you guys like to shut up, please?!"

Ou startled by my sudden words. Oh shit.

"What?"

"Uh... nope. It's none of your business anyway."

He carefully takes both of my hands, but I take it back.

"What happened to you? You seem different..."

"So? What will you do with my sudden changes? Dislike me? Ignore me just like the other people? Huh?"

"Wah, relax. I just want to say hi to you. That's it."

And then you'll ignore me just like the other people...

I force myself to hold back my tears because I knew he dislike weak people. My Father also hates a weak person... so I think that's why I have never cried before... in front of other people.

At least I know how to not cry in public. Guess I can make a challenge for it.

No fun.

"You know, you can talk to me every time you need it. I'll try to be there for you. Don't force yourself from hiding many problems on your head."

I left out a small smirk, "Thanks. I have Emily and Sasha as my closest friends."

"Ha-ha. Funny one," said Emily teasing me.

"So you already told him, is that mean you like him?" ask Sasha. Oh please Sasha, that's nonsense.

"Who's them?" ask Ou.

"My closest friends. That's all."

"So, I'm not your closest friend?"

I want to tell him that's not true, but all I can is having an argument with Emily and Sasha. Sasha told me to say something nice to him as a return, but Emily told me to piss it off, ignore it.

"I take it as a no then."

I breathed out heavily.

"Well, have fun then."

I nod awkwardly.

Then he leaves.

The first chapter! Finished! It's just for your information, I will never put any name for 'me', which means she is herself. Yes the main character is a girl. Well, I kind of shorting this story into oneshot but I don't think I can. I just need more time to think. I'll write this story slowly 'cause of the internet connection and my moody toward everything, ok? Ok, bye!