Killing Myself ✔

Problem 02

Second problem: I cannot fall in love

If you know what I mean. I can't be loved by anyone else. I didn't deserve anyone loves toward me.

"Such a horrible person as always..." said Emily mocking me.

"Oh well, I will not say something like that if I was you, Emily."

"Horrible? What was that? Is that horrible to fall in love with someone else?" ask Sasha abruptly.

"She didn't deserve anyone loves toward her. That's all she has said to us recently, did she?" said Emily.

"Well, I think Ou loves her. If she loves him back so why?" said Sasha is trying to mocking Emily.

"Guys, please stop judging about my love lives, ok? It's the reality, Sasha. I don't deserve anyone loves toward me."

Emily smirks prideful to me and Sasha.

"But Emily, it doesn't mean you can mock me such like that you prat."

"What?! What's the problem?"

"The problem is because I need advice from you guys, not a 'mockingly' and 'harshly' comment. Got it?"

"Got it! Hey Emily, you should hear what she said to you, you prat!" said Sasha.

"What now? Trying to copy her words now? You guys are such a prat more than me!"

"I think it's better to piss it off. I hate your confront inside my head. Remember what I've said, I need advice, ok? Oh, I wish I really can talk to you guys and you guys will give me some advice. Uh..."

"Hey!" said someone. It's a female voice.

I gaze toward her. It's Ae and Ech.

"Hi," answer me. I didn't dare to talk to them before, but what's the matter if they talk to me firstly?

"What are you doing here alone?" ask Ae.

Oh, please don't remind me of that kind of word!

"Nothing. Just... sit, I guess."

"You guess?" ask Ech giggling.

"What? What's the problem?" I eagerly ask her back.

"Nope."

And yeah, we sat here for such a long time like a year I guess... but we've never talked about anything. I mean, I just sit here hearing their conversation about something I am not interested about. I don't want to be such a prat just because overhearing a discussion. Not a type of me.

"Mind if we ask what happened to you?" ask Ae.

And as always, the both people inside my head confront like there is no end.

"It's nothing. I'm okay."

I bit my own tongue. Please... don't say it, don't say it! It's your own problem, right?

"Just tell them!" I hear Sasha's yell at me.

"Don't dare you speak about your feeling to them. They are not your close people! It must be embarrassing you a lot! Trust me!" and this one are Emily's yell.

"Really? You didn't seem so good, though. Are you really ok?"

"If you ask me like that because of my face, it's okay. It's my behaviour to have an expressionless face like this. Don't worry."

"You're not sick?" ask Ech.

"No."

"Um... ok, if you say so."

"Can you guys please let me... um... ask something?"

"Hey!!!" yell the both of them inside my head. I have to close my ears from their yell. Ugh.

"Of course. What it is?"

I eagerly ask something like this, "What is love? Do you guys know?"

"Um... let me think first," said Ech.

"I think love is the way you care toward anything. Not just a boy. It can be your stuff, or friends, or the other," answer Ae as quick as I always know. She has a great words to be told, always.

"I agree. And love for me is... when you cannot stop thinking about it. You cannot keep your eyes from it. You cannot stop asking yourself about it. Yeah... something like that."

I muttered wow before I answer their advice.

Emily laugh like a tired evil. Uh, I don't understand her laugh.

"Ae, your advice is really great words. And for you Ech, it was such a great example. I appreciate it a lot. Thanks guys for your... advice. Sorry for the wasteful time..."

"No, it's okay. And anytime."

I can see their warm smile. It remembered me of Ou's smile.

"Ha ha," said Emily, sound like a tired evil. Ugh.

I didn't deserve anyone loves toward myself...

Ok, I think it's enough for this chapter. I appreciate your comment, and of course your vote for this story. Whatever your comment is, I'll try my best to think it hundred of time. Thank you.