Queen One-Shots

Microwavable Popcorn

A/N: If you're having a bad day, here is a photo of Hopeful Brian who is staring at your future accomplishments (which are so amazing that they are high up in the sky) and see how Hopeful Brian is squinting a little? That's cause your future is so bright :)))

Anyway

Hello there. I'm John Deacon. If you don't know who I am, that's fine. I'm from Queen. I'm the bassist, to be specific.

Back in the early days of the band, when I had just been inducted as the bass player, the others wanted me to feel more welcome, since they had known each other for longer. It was decided that there would be a movie night at Freddie Mercury's house. Well, he was Freddie Bulsara at the time come to think of it.

The others, Brian May and Roger Taylor, had brought chips and drinks, while I brought a few bags of microwavable popcorn. Freddie had provided the movie and as the movie began, I got up to go to Freddie's kitchen.

Before I go on, let's just say that microwaves were a new thing back then. They were kind of confusing to some people. Freddie especially had difficulty operating them.

Anyhow, I had the three packages of popcorn tucked under my arm. "Freddie," I said. "Is your kitchen through this door here?"

"Yes," Freddie said. "Why do you ask?"

"I was going to microwave the popcorn for us," I stated, trying my best to seem polite, as I was a guest.

"Oh no, no, no, no!" Freddie exclaimed, bouncing up from his seat on the couch. "I'll do it for you, John! You're a guest! You sit down!"

"No, it's not too much of a hassle."

Freddie snatched the popcorn packages from my hands. "John, you sit down," Freddie demanded. "I just got this microwave, and I intend to be the first one to use it. Now go watch the movie."

"Alright," I obliged and wandered my way back to television.

Even though I had only been a part of Queen for about a week or two, the other members of the band were very kind and welcoming towards me. I was definitely a lot more shy than Freddie, Brian, or Roger, but I still communicated well with them.

"Do you want any chips, John?" Roger asked, offering me the bag.

"Sure," I replied, hearing the beeping of microwave buttons in the distance, "thank you."

Suddenly, after a few immediate popcorn pops from the kitchen, I heard a loud – almost screaming – noise. It was a repetitive shrieking, one that sent me to cover my ears.

"Holy shit!" I heard Freddie shout from the kitchen.

I made eye contact with Brian and Roger before dashing to kitchen. When we opened the door, smoke poured out and began to fill Freddie's flat. I walked in with the drummer and guitarist, waving my hand in the air, trying to clear the smoke.

Freddie stood wide eyed before the microwave, which evidently had caught on fire.

"Freddie?!" Brian yelled. "What the hell did you do?!"

"Well, I put it on high so the popcorn would cook faster and I turned around and what do you know, it's on fire!"

Freddie's explanation caused Brian to utter a curse. Brian and Freddie began to shout at each other and fight, with nothing being done to cease the firey microwave. Roger had filled up a bowl with water, and was rushing towards the flaming appliance, but I stopped him.

"Don't use water!" I shouted. "It's probably an electrical fire, so don't pour water on it."

Roger raised an eyebrow.

"I'm... I'm an electrical engineer..." I stammered.

The flames grew as the stench of burnt popcorn lingered in the air as the four of us were searching for a fire extinguisher. Roger finally located one buried deep in a cupboard, and handed it to Brian to deal with. Brian sprayed the extinguisher on the flame, and the fire died.

Freddie's microwave was burnt and black, the popcorn was just a shriveled up piece of ash in the middle, and Freddie was more shaken than any of us.

"Stupid microwave," Freddie muttered.

So, from then on we learned one major thing:

Do not let Freddie Mercury use a microwave or it will indeed catch on fire.