grab for any comfort, any little thing (A Divergent Fanfiction)

go in and take your chance

"You missed the Initiates Jump," Az tells me as she sits down. I had wondered why she was so late; I'm almost done with my food.

"Shame. Who came down first?"

"Abnegation," Az grins. "Third year in a row. What are they putting in your water over there?"

"That is not something I want to think about," I grimace, pushing what's left of my banana pudding around on my tray.

"They should be coming through any time now. Want to stay and watch?"

"No, thanks," I tell her. "I told Fanny and Liz that I'd take Adele this afternoon; we're working on walking." I yawn. "And napping. We're working on napping."

"Bad night?" she asks quietly.

I take a moment to wonder at how much better her subtlety has gotten before saying just as quietly, "It happens. Adele usually wears me out, though, so I should be okay tonight."

"You and that kid," Az says wistfully. "When are you two going to have your own?"

"No," I say, stacking my trash and standing, relieved that the other subject has been dropped.

"No? No, what?" she laughs.

"No, we're not having this conversation again."

"But they'd be so cute! All redheaded and chubby with Eric's scowl."

"And they'll still be cute if we wait a few years."

"I want to be an aunt before I'm dead!" she calls after me as I dump my tray and head out towards the Pit. I flip her off and listen to her laugh behind me.

***

"I haven't fed her yet," Fanny says as soon as I scoop Adele off of the floor. She's been eating so much, I'm surprised she doesn't weigh more than she does, but I suppose that happens when a one-and-a-half-year-old is suddenly at eye level with your knee, when she manages to stand at least.

"But I just came from the commissary," I whine. "And it's nap time."

"Are you sure you're the adult in this situation?" she asks, sharp tongued as she always is. "She hasn't been fussy today, so I let her play while I fed and put the others down for their naps. Take her to the commissary and let her look at the people, and stop feeding her the chocolate cake."

"She likes the chocolate cake," I say innocently.

"She's a baby. She likes anything you put in her mouth. Now, get out. It's my nap time now that everyone else is asleep."

"I hate you so much right now, Fanny," I say as she closes the door in my face. I huff, and say to Adele, "I don't really hate her, but I was really looking forward to a nap, cutie-pie. Let's go get you some food, yeah?"

***

"I'm back," I say as I take the same seat next to Az and settle Adele in my lap; she's gotten tall enough that she can see over the lip of the table.

She hasn't moved, too engrossed with making bets with Harper. She looks over at me briefly, and coos at Adele, but her attention doesn't really leave the table where the new initiates have settled. I feed Adele a few bites of peas, and try not to doze off at the table. After ten minutes of constant background noise, I'm ready to give up and sleep on the table, but Az nudges me with her elbow and thrusts her chin in the direction of the initiates.

Eric is standing over the end of the table, eyes focused on my brother. Tobias is frowning, which means Eric probably is too, but I'm not about to break up a potential fight in the middle of the lunch rush. One of the things I've learned over the last year is that neither of them likes to be wrong, and neither of them likes to be called out on it.