After the funeral in Kearney she really hoped things would become a little easier, but that didn't happen. It hasn't even been a year since she lost her grandfather passed away and she still can't think of him without wanting to just burst into tears. She misses him more and more everyday. She writes songs about him to try to cheer her up but that never happened. She tried to keep up with everything in her life but the minute he left her everything fell apart. Her life had gotten so much worse since he left. She got through the last few weeks of school, graduated the 8th and is barely passing her freshman year, she has lost so many things since he left and he is the only thing ever on her mind. She never knows what to do. Sometimes she will just look up at the sky and just cry and speak to herself as if he was right in front of her listening to every word she said. She has never cried so much in less than a year. She never thought a death could have such a toll on her life. There is not a second that goes that she doesn't want to cry because she misses him so much. Her friends have noticed differences in her since he passed and some are not good changes. Sometimes she will go off on her own for hours at a time with no way to get help if needed. Other times she will just cry nonstop for so long because of how much she misses him. It tears her up inside, she can't help but turn people away because now she feels that the less she cares the less death will hurt. She doesn't what she will on the one year marking of his death. She does know that it will be a day of tears. She knows that God will carry her through it. A friend of hers once said she is unashamed about her religion and thats true which is why she knows God will be there.
