Love Routine

Soul Saving , Soul Searching

You know that feeling when your in a good mood and you just think about one small thing and it make you want to crumble ? , yeah that feeling was well instilled in me . Let's call it a habit.

Third period was english class , this was one of my favorite classes as to where I would always find the accuracy to every single situation I was going through . Well you could call me a nerd for it , couldn't care less but if you attended those classes you would as well relate it to every damn situation in your life.

This particular day was funny in the sense that everything wasn't going as planned . I mean here I was sitting down with one million things maneuvering into my twisted mind and with every word spoken I would find even the slightest bit of accuracy in it . I was going insane.

" Is love & infatuation different ? " , this question tapped into the most delicate of some people's nerves and some couldn't care less about the outcome or revelation if this question asked . Some perspectives didn't agree with the views of others , and some really showed much of their personalities in them.

My perspective of love is passion driven  well as for me love is a choice . The choice to pick one person and decide that you want to spend the rest of your life with them , the choice to wake up every morning right beside them staring at every flaw while they are asleep and still choosing to love them. Love is choosing to accept someone as they are and to constantly keep growing with them , basically , love is a choice . Love is never a feeling for me because you never can really tell what the other is exactly feeling because that same "feeling" can be towards another person. Call me crazy or insightful I'm just sharing my perspective here .

While the english lesson was based on most perspectives and teaching me to deal with most perspectives , I was dealing with a lot . A whole damn lot.

I mean here I was dealing with school , friends and family. It's with those three damn words that weren't adding up for me .

Holding up with trying to know what your future has in store for you , what you need to do to please others and what you need to hold dear to you . That's a tad too much for a human to hold up with , like bury me in a hole thanks.

Well , what I mean to say is that as a "growing adult" there's so much to think about I won't call it teenager because that word is the most commonly misunderstood word second to love I'll tell you that for sure . It's such a vital stage to be in because with every decision you make comes a consequence even as an adult or a child but the consequence isn't as exaggerated at such stages . It's the coming of age stage , you discover your worth and potential every single thing you do is watched by everyone and I mean everyone . "No one will understand you" and you'll basically feel like your worth relies on other opinions from other people . That's what you'll basically feed on.

"Argh , goddamn my thoughts ran wild again " , after realizing that I said that out loud I did one of those awkward smiles to tint it off .

Writers note
Well I went in too deep with the explanation behind most of the things I mentioned but it's a healing process so 😂☺️

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Wanjiru Muchiri 💋