The Miscalculation (TMNT fan fiction)

The Miscalculation

"Where's Master Splinter?" Raph asked after peeking into his father's room.

"He took Mikey and Don on a training run so they could map some tunnels in the south quadrant," Leo told him, on his way from the kitchen to the dojo.

Raph followed him, watching as Leo pulled the box of bent throwing stars out of the cabinet it was stored in. When Leo set them on a work bench, Raph came over, lifting a star and grimacing at the bent metal.

"Why didn't ya' go with them?" Raph asked as he tossed the star back into the box.

Leo glanced at him and then back into the cabinet as he dug out various tools. "It was a training run for Mikey," he emphasized. "He doesn't need any more distractions or reasons to slack off. Don wouldn't have gone either if he didn't need to finish that section of his map."

Raph snorted. "They'll be gone a while."

"Did you need sensei for something?" Leo asked curiously.

"Nothing that can't wait," Raph said offhandedly. "This how you're spending your Friday night?"

"They aren't going to fix themselves," Leo said. "You're welcome to help."

Raph lifted both hands, palms out. "No thanks. Sounds like a damn boring way ta pass the time. Why don't we go out and take some undamaged ones off the Foot?"

Leo shot him a withering look. "Because that would entail engaging the enemy, something we don't do unless we have provocation."

"Their existence provokes the shell out of me," Raph said with a grin.

"Eloquent as always," Leo said, straightening the point of one of the stars with his hammer.

Raph watched him for a few minutes and then said, "Ya' know, if we were human we'd be out at a club or going ta a party somewhere. Sitting around the house is pretty lame."

"Only one of us is 'sitting around'," Leo said pointedly. "What's so exciting about clubs anyway? The loud music or the drunken crowds?"

"Girls?" Raph asked rhetorically.

"Drunken girls vomiting on your feet," Leo said.

"That could be fun too," Raph said.

"You can't possibly be that desperate for entertainment," Leo said, shaking his head slightly.

Raph eyed him. "From the looks of things, I'm not the one who needs help in loosening up."

"I'm not as uptight as you seem to think I am," Leo said defensively.

"Ya' squeak when ya' walk," Raph retorted. "Besides, I just offered ya' some fun and ya' turned your nose up at it."

"That offer was your idea of fun," Leo countered. "Don't you get enough of that when you're running around with Casey?"

"Kicking Purple Dragon butt ain't all we do for fun," Raph protested.

Leo chuckled. "I suppose that's where your knowledge of drunken revelry comes from."

"Don't knock it 'til ya' try it," Raph told him.

"Please tell me you don't actually get drunk while you're topside," Leo said sternly.

Raph crossed his arms over his plastron. "Your confidence in me is touching," he said. "Ya' should come with us some time, ya' might enjoy yourself."

"I seriously doubt it," Leo muttered.

"What, afraid ya' can't handle your liquor?" Raph taunted. "Afraid a couple of beers will make some of that iron will of yours slip a little?"