How do I live?

Chapter 3

I woke up the next day happy as larry, but then everything came flooding back to me. I broke down in tears which then woke up Ellie. She tried her best to comfort me but nothing was helping.

I spent the day moping around and trying to get my mind off of the past events. So many of my 'friends' were saying how sorry they were and was trying to cheer me up but nothing was working. How can anything or anyone make me feel better, i hadn't really got a father figure as he was more interested in trying to get my mum back, or shagging his new girlfriend. My pops was the closest thing i had to a dad and I've just lost that. How can i ever be okay again? I wont. 

I took a long hot bath and got dressed into one of his jumpers and some leggings. I wasnt hungry but i hadnt eaten since yesterday morning so i know ive got to eat. We got our shoes on and took a walk to the shops, i couldnt be bothered to cook so we got a doner kebab each. Not that i really ate a lot, but can you blame me?

Mum told me many times that its okay to cry, its okay to feel down, i knew this was true but i didnt want to cry or feel down, he wouldnt of wanted that but it was all i could do. I went online to tagged as it said on the app i had some notifications. It was from Harry. I didnt wanna talk to him today, in theory i didnt want to talk to him at all. I wasnt interested in anything from anyone. I couldnt be bothered with chit chat. Now if you dont know how tagged works, ill tell you. It has a meet me button, when you go on that you click yes or no to meeting someone based on their age, picture and location. My teacher from college looked at it a few weeks ago and said yes to everyone and she didnt realise. So loads of guys think im intersted. I was actually going to delete my account last night but i didnt, heaven only knows why.

I looked down Harrys pictures and profile and i didnt think anything of him, wasnt really attracted to him but thought hed be a good mate, and once in a while when meeting could be a good fuck but thats all it would ever be, he lives to far away for anything to happen......right?