It's a beautiful Saturday morning. Ur just woke up. It's about 10 am. Ur parents and little sister and big brother went to the store. U walk around the house that's when u relieze they left. U go back to your room. U don't bother to get anything to eat for u think your fat. U lay back down cause you didn't fall asleep till 4 last night. As laying there u deciede to check your Facebook. "What's that a messege? Must be for someone else." U think as u click it open.
"Kill yourself u fat bitch"
"Another hate messege?" U think to yourself
U close Facebook trying to not think about life.
U walk into your bathroom. U look in the mirror. "Why am I so fat and ugly? I just wish I was perfect" as u open the cabinet to grab a tooth brush. U see pills. U quickly close the cabinet and go down stairs into the living room. U turn the radio on to stop the silence. U walk into kitchen to get a glass of water. What's that? A knife. U run back into your room. U put some clothes on to go on a bike ride. After that u go to the garage. U see a rope. All the thoughts of how many people hated u. Tears stream down your face. You try day after day to hide from these things. But now. Your alone. U think "the bullies? They would be happy. Teachers? They all hate me and would be glad- one less paper to grade. Your parents? They wouldn't miss you. That's why they always leave you at home anyway. To get away from you. Your brother? He always calls u names and pushes u around. Your little sister? She likes your brother more than you. Your friends? They only talk to me cause they feel bad for me. Your crush? He pushed me in the halls the other made me drop all my books and then laughed. What about the boy who I sit with at lunch cause no one ever sits with him? I'm sure he some friends... And my empty desk? A new kid will replace it." U continue to stare at the rope. "Not like anyone is gonna miss me" u walk into the garage. And slam the big door shut. U start to hang the rope. Pull the bucket over. U take some paper and pen. U say sorry to everyone. Remind them it's not there fault. No one could of stopped you. That's when u start balling. You stand on the bucket and put the rope around your neck, and take one last deep breath. Every thought runs threw your head. How right now your in a fight with your brother. How ur parents kissed you goodnight last night. How your little sister loves playing dress up with you. "Maybe I..." U hear your parents pull in. "No this is my only chance. No one is gonna care" you push the bucket and can't breath now. Threw your last open eye u see your brother coming towards the garage. "He is gonna find me. He's prob about to get his bike... No I don't want him to find me.." Then... That's your last breath. Your gone. There's no coming back.
----
Your brother opens the garage door. To your body hanging there. He drops to his knees as your little sister runs over there. Your little sister and brother are on the ground hugging and crying. They yell for your parents. Your dad drops to his knees and holds on to your brother and sister. Your mom stands there in shock. Everyone in tears. That's when your best friend comes over. The one u always are lunch with. U forgot u and him were supposed to hang out at 11. He sees you hanging there. Tears fall from his face and he runs home. He does the same thing u did. He's gone now too. He thought it was all his fault. He new u were suicidal. He new u had scars. He could of stopped u. But now it's too late for both of u. Ur parents call the police. They come get your body. Carry you out of there as your brother and sister sitting in the back yard... Lifeless. They couldn't believe this. Still crying. They didn't know what to do...
It's 1 week later. Your family still can't go into your room. The memories kill them. Actually. They have to move. It kills them not seeing the beautiful sister/daughter walk down the stairs every morning wishing everyone "good morning I hope u all have a fabulous day"
At school. Everyone has heard the news. Everyone misses you. More than half the school was at your funeral. They are also trying to stop bullying now. But those bullies? Most of them cut now. A few won't eat. And 1 killed themselfs. They couldn't live knowing what they did to u. All those times they told u to killyourself. They just were jealous that u were so pretty. Or the good grades u got. They just didnt no how to handle what they felt so they felt the need to pick on u. Ur teachers? A few quit, not thinking they deserve to be around kids anymore. The one who always pushed you alittle more? Thought it was her fault and now in the hospital for so many brake downs. Ur crush? He liked you. No. He loved you. He was so scared to talk to you cause he thought either his friends would judge him or because u wouldn't like him back. Now he wished he wouldn't of cared of what his friends thought. And when he pushed u? The truth was his friend had bumped him pushing him into u and made u fall. He felt bad. But he was late to class. And he laughed cause he thought it would make him look cool. But now he just felt horrible. Started cutting. Could barely eat anymore. Ur friends? Well most cut. Most can't eat. They hate themselfs for not stopping u. Felt it was there fault. And for ur best friend. The one who killed himself? Ur both gone. Niether of u are coming back. Everyone missed both of u. Ur desks? They were put behind the school. No one could replace them. Ever. The put your names on the desks. Ur family? They all go to therapy now. Ur little sister? She looked up to u. She thought the world of you. But your gone. Gone forever. Your brother? U didn't no he was the reason ur ex bf left you. Because Your ex bf touched u and u didnt like it, your brother threatend him because ur brother loved you and didn't want you getting hurt. But now he can't protect his little sister. He just feels lost. And ur mom most days sits by the window where she would see u walking home. She imagined u walking up the driveway. And smiling. U always seemed so happy. No one even knew the truth. Only your one friend who is gone now too... And your dad. He had major depression but has to go to work. Now the therapy bills and moving and your funeral. Everything for u... But ur family still misses u everyday. Wishing u would come back.
-
U never sat and thought about the beautiful things. How the stars shine so bright. When babies laugh. How we have simple things like sprinkles to make ice cream so pretty. Dogs and cats to cuddle with when we are sad. Pretty colors. All the majical things that make the world go round.
-
Please don't give up. Ever. You probably feel like so un-needed. Unloved. But trust me. Your alot more loved then u think you are.
-
My name is Julia. I care about everyone. I only want to help people. Talk to me anytime.
-
Kik: call_me_maybe9669
Instagram: irefusetosink9669
-
I really do care. Talk to me anytime. Please never give up. I hope this helped you if your going threw a hard time.
