The Scars Of A Swan

Chapter five

At school on Thursday it was a reminder that Mike asking me to the dance was not some weird dream, but in fact a reality. Mike had come up to me with a bright and carefree smile and had asked what color I was planning on wearing to the dance.

With no experience in dances whatsoever, I stared at him for a long moment in confusion before answering blue, then he began to question what shade of blue, I still have no idea why he wanted to know that.

“One color you wont see me wearing, ever. Is pink, I hate that color.” I said as we walked into class, falling silent. There were a few people who shot us a curious glance, while most of them just glared at me, then leaned over to their buddies to whisper.

I pretended not to notice their looks and quickly went to take my seat, there was no point in mentioning anything. Its not like it would do me any good, it would actually probably make it worse in some ways.

When you've been bullied for most of your life, you learn that its better not to say anything most of the time, at least when they are talking about you. It may make you feel like a coward, but there are some people who will say worse things to your face than they do behind your back.

There are people who enjoy seeing the broken and pained look on your face when they use their venomous words, they like the fact that they can hold so much power over you. Hit you with blow after blow until you break.

Most of the morning passed dreadfully slow, which was a good and bad thing, bad because it meant the day was going to be painfully long. Good because I was not looking forward to lunch, it was always uncomfortable and it wasn't getting any better.

But by the time lunch did come around, Bella kept looking at the table she had mentioned belong to the Cullens, she was seemingly disappointed that it was missing one Edward, until he beckoned her over.

“Bella, please.” I said in a hushed voice, hoping that only she would hear me. But she only gave me an apologetic smile and went over to sit with Edward, alone, leaving me to sit here more uncomfortable than I already was.

With a groan I hit my head on the table and shut my eyes, this is just great, not that I never expected it. I rather be alone at a table without Bella than with a bunch of people who don't like me and only one who does, and probably only because he feels bad for me.

This is almost as torturous as having to stand in front of the class and introduce yourself, stumbling over your words, making yourself look like a complete idiot. All while the class stared at you as if you were an animal on display at some exhibit.

With this form of torture you could at least not know if everyone is staring at you, most of the people are too in to their food and being able to talk freely to even care about staring at you, though that doesn't mean that they weren't talking about you.

It seems even if they weren't talking about you, they were staring, silently judging you. They didn't even need to hate you or know you to be judging you in their minds, all they know us that they feel the need to judge you.

I've also have learned that if a day started out bad, and seemed to stay bad or get a little worse, it was probably to end up being terrible. Which is I should've seen this coming, or at least figured it would've happened at one point.

Because during one my class after lunch, the one I had right before gym, when I thought things might be getting a little better. They only got worse when a woman walked into the class room, whom I vaguely remembered from the office “Miss Swan.” she said in a bored sounding tone of voice.

This had brought the attention to me, followed by some whispers and accusations of what I could've done. I struggled to speak and resist the urge to duck my head “Yes ma'am?” I replied, trying to push the uneasiness away.