The sky was grey, sending us a message that it was about to rain. The cold wind was blowing hard sending chills all over my small body. The tears falling from my eyes felt like they were freezing on my cheeks as they keep falling. The days seem long. My sadness seems to have no end.
I guess this is my new beginning. A life without my biological parents. What will happen to me now? Where will I go?
The funeral seemed long. I just sat on one of the chairs looking at the box my father was in. I didn't really pay attention of who was here to see my father for the last time. But I didn't care. I just wanted my dad to be with me. But he left me. Forever.
The priest started the ceremony and everybody paid attention and some cried as I have for the past two days. My friends came in to support me and because they also knew my dad. They know that he was a good man and a good doctor. Every time we had an accident when we played he would take care of us. When one of us got really hurt he would make us feel better.
How am I going to survive without him here?
My mother left us when I was five, and now my father left and I'm only ten. sometimes life just doesn't seem fare. how could my parents die and leave me alone. Where am I suppose to stay? Will I be send to an orphanage?
I've heard bad things about those places. I don't want to be in a place like that. I'll be away from my friends. What if I never see them again?
The more I think about what will happen to me, the more I get scared. I wished everything was back to the way it was. But I'm old enough to understand that that would never happen.
As the priest finished taking they began to lover my father into the whole in the ground where he will be forever. Just like my dear mom. I hadn't stopped crying the entire time. No matter how much Mr. and Mrs. Wright tried to make me feel better I couldn't stop crying.
Everybody that was here has a white rose with them. Mr. Wright told me that we all have to put the rose on the ground where my father lays. He said "It's a way of letting go of our pain." But to me it was like letting go of him and I didn't want to do that.
"Would you like to throw the rose in with the rest sweetie?" the priest asked me after everybody had put their rose with my father.
I held on to the rose tightly and answered "No." as more tears fell. I turned around and Mr. Wright held on to me like my father used to do when I cried.
"I don't want to let go of it! I don't want to!" I screamed into his chest as he hugged me.
"It's ok honey. You don't have to if you don't want to okay." he said as he held on to me tightly.
I stayed in his arms the rest of the funereal. I didn't see as they buried my father. I didn't see as the people left.
By the time everyone left, there was thunder and rain. It was pouring rain but I wasn't getting wet. I looked up and saw a dark blue umbrella above me. Mr. Wright was the only one here with me holding the umbrella above me.
"We can go whenever you're ready." he said to me.
I looked at him and I could see that he was concerned about me. Just like any father would when they see their little girl cry. He wanted to protect me. He wanted me to feel better. In a way he was like a second father to me. I had a love for him but it wasn't the same as the love I had for my father.
I look at him and I said "I'm ready."
I took one last look of the pile of dirt where my father was and took Mr. Wrights hand and walked away.
We headed to his car, the only car left, and drove away. Emma and I sat in the back seat. we looked at each other and smiled. We had a sisterly bond and somehow we always managed to make each other smile no matter the situation.
I had a question that I had on my mind for the past two days and I thought I should ask now that we were alone. I was with my second family and I know they will know the answer.
"Can I ask something?" I said looking at Mr. and Mrs. Wright in the front seats.
"Sure Honey." said Mrs. Wright looking back at me.
"What's Going to happen to me now?" my voice was small but she still heard me.
"Well Sweetie." she paused for a minute and looked at her husband. "Since your dad married Fibi. . . well she's your Step mom so you will be staying with her." I didn't like that answer but I know she was telling the truth.
"But I don't want to." I said with a scared voice.
"I know but she's your guardian now so you have to stay with her. It's just how things are." she had a sincere look.
"But we only live a couple of houses down away from you and you are welcome in our house any time. Our home is your home too." said Mr. Wright.
We arrived at my house and we made our way inside. there were a couple of people here and there was also food going around. this looked like a party and that made me mad. How could Fibi make a party after we just buried my dad?
I thought she loved him but I guess I was wrong. she didn't love him. I know she doesn't. I was so mad that I ran upstairs and into my room.
I heard the door open and Emma walked into my room.
"It's not a party. My dad said that this happened after every funeral. I don't get it either but if you want we can stay here. We don't have to go downstairs." she said as she walked to my bed.
Then I remembered that the same thing happened when my mother died too.
"Ok." I said and we stayed in my room until it was time for her to go home.
