Today is a gloomy August day. The clouds hang low and spurt their tears of sorrow. I can't help but question why they too are as sad as I am? They aren't trapped inside like I am with nothing to do but play soduku puzzles or board games. If they were to be trapped like me, then they would have something to cry about.
"It's day 12 and I cant help but wonder when I will feel better. I'm starting to think that everyone around me is wondering the same thing. Some even question when I'll get better and I cant answer them. All I know is I'm trying. I'm battling with myself everyday to not feel numb, to try to feel happy. But it is harder than it looks when you are battling all your demons at once."
I rip out the page of my journal in anger. I run my fingers through my short black hair in frustration. Tears well up in my eyes as I remember why I am here in the first place. I didn't want to be here. They say that this is supposed to help me get better but in reality, it just makes me even more depressed.
I had lost everything. First it was my parent, then my sister, then my sanity. What could I do? I had never felt so alone in my life. Everyone I loved was gone. I had nobody, not even friends. I was trapped in my mind. The only thing I could find myself doing was sitting on a couch. I didnt do anything else. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I did nothing.
One day, i decided that I was going to do. I finally mustered up enough energy to go take a shower. The water felt nice on my body because I haden't felt it in a while. Once I was done I stepped out onto my bath mat, feeling it's fuzzy warmth for the last time. I quickly dried my hair and styled in effortless curls. I put on eye-liner and lip stick. I stepped into my finest dress and zipped it up. Slipping on my heels, I stepped out of my bathroom.
I made myself a TV dinner, filling my stomach up on frozen meat loaf. This was to be my last dinner, I didn't care. I walked out of my apartment with the intention of never coming back. As I walked down the hall to the staircase, I felt relaxed. I walked up the staircase slowly, counting every step. I went higher and higher until I was at the service door. I opened the door and the wind hits my face. It is refreashing to finally feel the air on my face again after so long.
I walked across the top of the building, the gravel making a crunching sound as I walked. As I reached the ledge, I questioned if 12 stories would be enough. Would it be enough? Let's hope it is. A sudden realization dawns on me. I'm going to see my family again. I'll be with them, and I'll finally be happy. Tears fill my eyes as I see us together again as a family.
I take a step closer to the ledge and look behind me. There is nobody there to stop me. I take a few seconds to look over the edge. the cars are passing by at speeds of 40 miles per hour. Even if the fall didn't kill me, the cars sure as hell would. I step onto the ledge and take my right foot up over the edge. I let my flat fall off and I lean forward as I watch it fall into traffic and get lost. I then lean forward more ready to fall. But it doesn't happen because suddenly I am being gripped by the waist by a strong arm.
I don't protest as he starts to drag me away from the edge. I am far too tired to try to get away from his iron grip. He drags me to the ground and I'm laying his arms on his lap. He is saying something to me but I am too out to say or hear anything. Before I know it, I have a sharp pain shooting through my arm. I look at my arm and see a needle. I then look him in the eyes. That was the last thing I saw. His beautiful, caring, blue eyes.
