Maddy Shannon-Invisible

An Unlikely Visitor

I thought Terra Nova would be different. A fresh start. Dad was home again. Everyone could be happy. Mom didn't seem so worried all of the time which was good but Josh still had an attitude towards everyone. Snarky comments every time someone said anything. All he did was pull other people down. Honestly, I was usually getting the brunt of it since my parents were never around and he was never rude to Zoe. Some of his comments always made me cringe and think back to 2149.

"Is the over achiever just barely achieving?" That one had hurt just because of how similar it was to what the kids at school said. If he would have knocked me down a flight of stairs it all would have been perfect. Gosh I remember when my body would be covered in bruises and still no one noticed. It was both relieving and depressing. Or how about, "I was having a life Maddy" the quiet fact that I didn't have one hung in the air between us. I pushed it aside but it still nagged at me. My brother thought that I was a know-it-all geek that was just sitting in the background. Of course he was to cool to acknowledge me. He probably didn't even want to be related to me.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had never been born. Dad would never have gone to prison. Zoe wouldn't have had to hide. We wouldn't have had to spend thousands on a month long hospital stay. No dinky little sister to mess up everything. Josh would still act like a part of the family since he would look after Zoe. Mom wouldn't have had to work as much.

I pull my knees up to my chin and bury my face in my arms. I was so useless. Why in the world would my family still care about me? The thought made me stop. When was the last time they had asked me about my day? They had helped me with a problem without me coming to them first? When was the last conversation I had had with them that didn't pertain to taking care of Zoe? More tears travelled down my cheeks as I realized I couldn't remember. It was always do this, do that, take Zoe here, or there. I loved her more than anything else but it was a lot to ask everyday with no break ever. I just needed them to realize what I do, who I am is important. I scoffed to myself again. They hadn't noticed for the entire sixteen years I was alive. What would change it?

It was like I was a shadow. You couldn't ever see me until everything was going dark and then you needed me. You found me and like a shadow I stayed attached to you, always there and always waiting, but you never noticed me until the darkness seemed to swallow you. Then I was ordered to counteract the darkness so you could have a break from being scared. Not knowing that the darkness always seemed to corrupt my own soul and that one day when you called on me I wouldn't help, but instead join the darkness in its attack against you. I honestly wondered how much longer I could go on before the darkness swallowed me whole.

Gosh, and my family was all so stupid! Standing up quickly in my rage I began to pace. They all had some odd knack for attracting trouble. Always getting hurt and expecting me to deal with the aftermath. What happens when one day one of them doesn't come home. I won't have time to cry because I'll be to busy trying to pick up the pieces of my family. I won't be allowed to cry. I still need to be the positive outlook when everything feels like it's tumbling to the ground. I don't know what I would do if they didn't come home as stupid and insensitive as they could be I still loved them and didn't want them hurt.

It just, every time I seem to do something momentous something bigger and better always seems to steal my moment. Moving up grade levels in 2149 overshadowed by the population polices constant patrols. New award at school overshadowed by Josh's new guitar. Coughing up blood for weeks on end overshadowed by a second chance at life when I already thought I wouldn't survive the first one. The thought had crossed my mind that if I died they could take dad with them as a family of four. It would be so easy for them. I never voiced it out loud but sometimes I wonder if the others thought about it to. Coming to Terra Nova and knowing every fact about the place overshadowed by Josh's escapade out side the gates. Being attacked by a crazy Commander Taylor overshadowed by my parents returning home. My complete disappearance from the colony and a night out side the gates completely unnoticed by my family members.