Paul's Humiliation

1

I was sitting on the couch, growling as I flipped after channel after channel.
Dawn kneeled down, getting in my face.
"What?" I growled.
"Your hair is getting too long." Dawn said. "Let me and Misty cut it."
"No!" I stared at her. "No way! Did you see how she chopped Ash's bangs off?!"
"Shut up!" Ash muttered.
Misty hugged him so hard his face turned pale.
"I'll cut it!" Dawn said, pulling me over.
"I doonn'ttt wannnnaaaa!" I whined.
Dawn put a towel over my shoulders.
"Dawwwnnn, noooo!" I shouted.
"Stop squirming." Dawn ordered.
"Dusk, help! She's trying to shave my head!"
"I am not! Your hair's too long! I'm only going to cut it up to above your ears!"
Dusk, eleven, stared at us. "Dad?"
"Help!" I squirmed.
Dusk rolled his eyes.
"Dad, stop that." Dusk flicked my nose like Dawn always does. "She's trying to help."
"Dawn Shinji-Berlitz, stop this wizardry!" I cried as she snipped my hair off.
"Paul, calm down, jeez." Dawn said, cutting my bangs off.
"DAWN SHINJI-BERLITZ, STOP IT!" I shouted.
"No." Dawn denied, snipping off the hair on the other side of my head.
"Ughhhh.." I groaned.
Dusk snickered. "Your ears are sticking out, Dad."
"Don't rub it in.." I growled as Dawn combed my hair. "Please don't rub it in.."
May's son, Marley, exploded in laughter as he saw me. "Hah, Paul! Your wonderful wife snipped you off!"
"It's ripped you off." I snarled.
"In this case, its snipped." Marley stuck his head in the fridge, taking my snacks.
"Leave those alone!" I snarled.
"Come and get them." Marley crowed.
"I hate him." I snarled.
Dusk trotted after Marley, smirking at him.
I followed.
"I want to make sure you're not watching innapropiate things. He's only eleven."
"Chill, Shinji. I'm only playing Grand Theft Auto with him."
"Fine." I trotted after Dusk. "I'm in."
"What?" Marley asked. "Paul, you're fifty one. You're too old for Grand Theft."
"Who says I am?" I snarled, picking up a controller. "I've had experience."
"All right. Let me see you drive." Marley sneered.
I growled as I ran over people in the sidewalks.
"Strike!" Marley highfived me. "We're anyways killing people."
"Look! This cop's car is unlocked!" I said, making my character steal it.
"Later, sucker! Marley, shoot him! Dusk, shoot him!"
I drove off.
I heard gunshots from the game.
"Oh, no!" I cried. "Wasted! I've been bombed!"
"Dude, that was badass." Marley said.
"I give up." I quit. "I quit."
"Hey, Dad, look at this! He's chasing me! Woo, he's chasing me!"
"Run, beeotch, run!" Marley cried, watching the man behind Dusk chase after his car.
"Marley, come here! I caught you, red-handed!"
"Mom, shut up!"
I walked out of the room.
Dawn smiled evilly. "Like your new haircut?"
"I look like Ash. My ears stick out."
"What did you just say?" Ash snarled.
"It's true."
"I know, smartass. I'm the only Ash Ketchum around here."
Dawn snarled at Ash. "Paul's offended!"
I was really offended.
Ash held onto Misty. "Serves you right. You abuse your Pokémon."
"Shut up!" I snarled.
Dawn clenched her fist. "You annoying brat!"
"Just shut up."
Did I start this argument? I asked myself.
Dusk danced out of his room, singing loudly, " Nananana Nananana Wow Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Wow Fantastic Baby.."
Me and Dawn looked at each other like idiots.
"What the hell is wrong with him?"
"Marley's up to his shit again." May apologized.
"I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Fantastic Baby." Dusk shrieked.
I snickered.
Dawn poked me, all of us staring at Dusk.
Dusk blushed and whipped around, pulling out his earplugs.
"You saw and heard nothing!" He snapped.
Marley and Drew snickered.
"Drew, that's not funny!" May snapped.
Dusk's face flushed. "You're all jerks!"
"Get out, your voice was amazing." Dawn said.
"What's with the song?"
"Marley's idea."
"I LOVE IT!" I shrieked.
Both of us fell onto the couch, mouthing the words to the song.
Dawn facepalmed.
"Damn, that's sexy shit." Misty mooned. "Paul and Dusk. Still a better love story than Twilight."
All of us laughed.
Dusk stifled a snicker.
I snickered.
Marley smirked.
Dawn slowly rubbed her hands down her face.
Dusk brushed purple hair out of his face. I wished I could do the same.
"Hey, Dad. Don't feel so bad. See?"
We compared hair color. "Same tint."
"But I have the grayness. Different tint." I argued.
"But.."
Dusk shifted slightly. "I've been noticing how different kids have different dads. Nicole's dad hates being touched, and he hates Pokemon. Clemont's is always excited around Delia, and Ash's is an idiot."
"What about me?"
"I have the best dad."
I ruffled my spawns hair.
"Me? Idiot?" Red asked.
"Pathetic, this little bitch can't even see his idiotism."
Red rolled his eyes.
Ash pulled at my hair. "There's a tuft of hair covering part of your ears."
"Good." I hissed.
Dusk hugged me.
"Night, Dad." He got off and went to bed.