My body was numb to the pain now, it had been three times, two times of excruciating pain. The third time, now, I was just numb laying here. I couldn't see anything, there was a thick blindfold on across my eyes that blocked off any light whatsoever. In the darkness I tried to imagine something else, a happy moment in my life, anything to take me away from the hell I was suffering. The only sound you could hear in my empty apartment was him grunting and breathing. It didn't matter to him if I was kicking or screaming or even still, he was getting what he wanted.
The first time it happened, I was coming home from work, I had made it inside of my old apartment complex, I had just part ways with a coworker of mine, we had a late night in the office. We worked a nine hour day and were both ready for some TLC. I was checking my mail and for some reason I felt like someone was staring at me, I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Ignoring that feeling and just wanting to go to sleep, I took my mail towards the elevator. The door opened I pushed my floor and waited for it to shut. Right before it closed for good a hand darted in between. A man walked in, scared that it was the person who was watching me I studied him carefully making sure I knew every little detail about him.
I was further in the back then he was, he pushed a button only a floor under me, I panicked, my heart thumping in my chest. As each floor dinged I got worried. When the elevator finally reached his level he looked at me, I nearly jumped out of my skin. "Have a goodnight." He mumbled as he walked out.
I felt foolish for thinking that I was going to be attacked him my apartment elevator. When my floor was before me I began to fumble for my keys to open my door, mentally cursing myself for getting the kind of bag Mary Poppins uses. I finally found my keys but it was too late, something hit he back of my head and I was out cold.
When I came to, and I found him on top of me beginning to rip my clothes off I screamed as much as I could, I had a thick gag in my mouth that muffled a lot of my screams. He had the black mask on his face, I could only see his distant dark brown eyes stare back. I never thought that I would be attacked, or never thought I would feel so much pain.
I became lightheaded and eventually passed out, I was out for more than half a day, I missed a days work. I woke up in an old storage closet, I went to the police the moment I woke up and got a change of clothes. The officers that recorded my story listened carefully but they had nothing to go on, the sketch artist was only able to draw his eyes. The case is still opened. I changed the locks on my door, i hadn't had enough money to move.
The second time it happened, it was just like today, where he was waiting in my house knocking me out cold and then tying me to a bed. When he was finished that time and I saw his eyes, I knew it was the same man. The second time I had gotten some money from my job and had enough to move to a secure location where you needed a key to get into the complex and then a different key for your door. It wasn't enough though, no one could stop him.
The man roughly spread my legs further apart, and grabbed at my body. He never touched me, the first two times he got what he wanted and left but now it felt like he was doing this to please me. The only thing that would please me was seeing him strapped to a chair with a needle in his arm as a doctor pulled levers giving him the right amount of chemicals to kill him.
It was around noon when I came home, I had taken some things to the office. I knew immediately something was wrong when I opened the door and found a bouquet of flowers on my kitchen table. He was already waiting for me. How? I had no idea. I had changed the locks...twice and even begged the landlord to change the keys for the whole apartment complex. Somehow he always got in.
His grunts and breathing quickened, I took solace in knowing that he was close to finishing and like always he would degrade me even more by washing my body then finally would end up leaving my house. He finally finished roughly and fast, he kept a special garbage can by the bed to throw away stuff that contained any possible DNA. Whoever he was, he was meticulous. He tossed the wrapper inside the waste basket, I could hear the plastic move around as it sunk to the bottom.
He left my bedroom and headed towards the bathroom where he would wet the towels he brought with him to wipe my body down. I only had thirty seconds to move around, my arms were tied above my head tightly, I could get some blood flow to my hands now. My arms were sore from being in this position.
When he came back he took time cleaning my body, using the towel as an extension of himself, dragging it slowly around me, even inside of me, this part made me nauseous, he took an especially long time making sure every limb had been wiped, even twice. I was thankful I had the blind fold on I didn't have to see him wash my body.
After he "cleaned" me, he began to let the restraints go, the tie on my legs were the first to go, the blood instantly rushed to the ends of my toes, he moved away from the bed, probably to the duffel bag in the corner that had all of his things. I heard shuffling next to me, he started to untie my wrists from the bed.
He removed the blindfold from my face and I finally got the only glimpse of him. He never took off my blindfold not until he was all done, then he would place a black mask over his face that had only two holes for the eyes. His eyes were dark brown, with white skin, that's all I knew about him. He knew that's all I had on him, which was practically next to nothing. It gave him more power over me.
He put his pointer finger and made a shushing gesture with a wink, I watched him walk out my bedroom shutting it as he went. Once I heard the front door close I finally moved, I rubbed my wrists attempting to relieve the pain and hopefully stop the bruises that would probably form. I grabbed a towel that I kept that on a chair near the bed. I wrapped it tightly around my body
I walked to the front for and placed the two locks I had installed into the door. I went to my bathroom and started to fill the tub with water, I moved the handle on scalding hot and put the plug in. The steam filled the room covering the entire mirror. The steam felt like another blanket it was thick enough that it was hard to see. I stepped into the water feeling the sting, but it was nothing compared to what he did to me. The hot water was my way of sanitizing my body, and replacing what his hands felt like with burning water.
I was in the tub scrubbing my body till the water went cold. I wasn't clean enough, it was never enough, no matter how much I scrubbed my body, I could still feel him grabbing me, feeling him inside of me. I had not realized I was crying, tears streamed down my face into the cold water. It was only a waiting game now, there was no way this was going to be the last time. I couldn't stand the cold water any longer, I doubted there was anymore hot water and left. I put on a baggy pair of grey sweats and a T-shirt on.
I stripped my bed of all the sheets, they had been my favorite. He was so careful when he did this, he brought everything he needed, including a sheet that he placed under me. He made sure there wasn't a single trace of him, and even though he physically didn't touch my sheets the imprint was there and it was not coming out. I tossed them in my living room to throw away for later, I noticed the flowers still remained on the kitchen table I picked them up walking towards the sink and shoved them down the garbage disposal.
Inside my closet I had a fresh set of blankets, I pulled two out. I got into bed my muscles straining, they were sore. I pulled the two blankets over my head tucking in the sides so I could be warm. I laid there feeling fresh tears pour from my eyes. There wasn't any hope. This was how my life was going to be unless what he wanted was no longer available.
