I gaze unseeing at the flurry of excitement laid out before me and inhale deeply. Remembering Mum is at my shoulder, I quickly blink back the icy tears, providing me with a slightly better view of the warzone in front of me.
I say warzone, but everyone's happy; smiling and laughing, running and shouting. I'm the only one not joining in. Believe me if I could I would, but no-one would let me enter their battle. Not even the girls from the year below building mediocre snowmen and singing.
My eyes search for my younger brother, finding him a few moments later with his friends, throwing random handfuls of snow at each other enthusiastically. Almost none of it is finding its destined target, but to them it doesn't matter. They're as carefree right now as a baby. And, as mean as it sounds, I hate them for it.
The whole school was sent home early, and no-one needed to be told to know that everyone would be meeting at the field above the church as soon as they had changed. I wanted to stay home and revise, but Mum bundled me up in various scarfs and other winter garments, and said that I needed to go outside once in a while, as if walking to school wasn't enough sunlight already. I didn't bother protesting, just snuck a headphone in one ear and stuck Green Day on.
I'm still listening to music, and it is the only reason I'm not walking away. Mum would disapprove if she knew, but she has never been musical, and doesn't understand how much it calms me, even if they're screaming.
I watch as a kid slips over, and almost run over to help. But he gets up almost immediately and I thank God that I didn't, because I can see the girls in my year watching me, and that would make them talk more than the fact that my mum is the only adult there. It doesn't matter to them that my brother is six and prone to getting in trouble. Or that she's keeping an eye out for everyone and has a first aid kit in her bag just in case. All that matters is that I'm fifteen and 'need mummy's protection wherever I go'.
I look around, and I don't see the scene of happiness I originally perceived. I look around and all I take in is a load of manipulative teens who judge one another. Who decide who they're going to be friends with based on looks. I look around and for once, I wish I couldn't see.
