Kryptism Tries To Write

"It's Basically The Bible, But Intensely Irish And Not Like The Bible At All"

I hear a lot of weird shit in my life.

"Why are you worshipping a cow that doesn't even exist".-Sierra

"Do you know how difficult it is running a magic business that trains ferrets to jump through tiny hoops set on fire?!"-Kate

"The Kmart near my house has the security levels of a public restroom."-Cory

"Lady don't yell at me, I'm a lawyer, not a liar. Now where were you on February 24th at exactly ten o clock pm eastern standard time."-Kate

"You guys are like not even half as attractive as that random lady right there".-Shane

"My whole family is in jail!" "You must have wonderful family reunions."-Zoey and Shawna

"Its a dangerous world, filled with combustible lemons."-Ben

"No sir, we are searching for the super deluxe ultra rare limited edition Jetson's lunchbox with original red handle and leftover Cheezits still inside".-Aurora

"Yasss boo, slay those pervs"-Cory

"My gosh Sharon you can't just poison all the bake sale cookies."-Kimmy

"WELL SLAP MY ASS, GIVE ME A WIG AND CALL ME LINDA. I'M FEMALE NOW!"-Jose

"Sir, I'm sorry but it's illegal to set boxes of cereal on fire in these parts."

"The jellybeans are falling! QUICKLY, SWIM!"

"I need a cantaloupe" "DID YOU MEAN THIS CANTALOUPE"

"Why don't you drink some tea" "Why drink tea when you can drink CHAMPAGNE"