I tried

Chapter 1:

The asshole, leaver, quitter, drunk, addict, all nouns used to describe me. BUT, all good stories start with a but. Or maybe it was just the good ones that had lots of sex in them. Ha! See what I did there. It is my humor that gets me through most of the unfortunate events of my life. Let's start at the beginning.

January 22nd 2015

This date is an important one. It was the day that it was announced that I was leaving the one thing that I was successful at. It was a decision I didn't take lightly and it made my best friends hate me. There is a lot more to the story than the parts that I let them see. I'm slowly coming to terms with them myself. AA was killing me, I was so successful but it was a poison. It gave me the means to be a sloppy drunk and even worse cocaine addict. Being so young and having money is a cocktail for mistakes. A different woman every night to satisfy the monster living in my pants. It wasn't until the night that I almost overdosed and had visions of the hell that I could cause that I decided that I needed a change just to live. There was one particular nightmare so vivid I could scream to this day had it been fulfilled. I was still this coked up junky and I had gotten someone pregnant, which is a nightmare in itself. A Coke head father that didn't know his ass from a hole in the ground. Back to the plot though... I'd come home from one of the many tours that had kept me away from home for some amount of time.  When I'd arrived there was his mother passed out on the couch, I looked to the coffee table and there were four little white lines cut with a credit card and a dollar bill used for snorting the substance. This is the part that gets really fucked up. This beautiful ginger haired, blue eyed little boy walking up to the table. "Candy" he'd said as he got closer to the table. My body panicked and the more I tried to run to stop him the further away the table was. I couldn't stop him... Any amount of cocaine would kill any child. And when I woke up in a cold sweat I'd knew that I'd killed my child... This is the point when I knew that I had to do some growing up pretty quick. Not that I wanted children then or even now but someone in my position was bound to not wear a condom all the time. That's not also to say that I don't drink, I do but it isn't nearly as badly as before and I've since been drug free. I've also stayed away from relationships. What I am good at is telling my feelings through song. And I tried that with Asking Alexandria when from death to destiny came out and it brought out so many mixed emotions from all of us and even among fans. They wanted to go another way and who am I to hold them back. However I have needs too and things that I need to let out. It just wasn't possible for all of us to continue on the same path and be happy with the results. So after a long hard few months after I announced my departure and continued my path with We Are Harlot. Here we are today a year after my decision to sing at WAH full time. I feel like I get to explore every side of myself, it's refreshing to start new. Not everybody agrees because they don't like the new me or they don't like the addition of Denis to AA because he isn't me. He isn't supposed to be me and should bring his on flavor to AA. I left some big shoes to fill and according to "The Black" he has done just that. I'm happy for them that they were able to pick up the pieces and move forward. I have a lot in me and soon enough my solo stuff is coming out. So in my humble opinion it was great for them to move on because I have. We have a show tonight and we've been touring like crazy. I've been having bouts of depression lately but what person doesn't when they have to be away from home so long.

I've never been nervous when going onstage. Tonight it is different, and this isn't the usual butterflies in the stomach nervous. It's waves of pressure crushing against my chest, cutting off my windpipe. I can hear the pulse of my heartbeat inside my head. My chest hurts so bad. The lunch that I ate pushed up leaving a sour taste in the back of my throat. Jeff rushed over to me. "Are you ok?" He asked, barely audible through the sound of my heart pounding. I tried to answer, the world around me was blurring almost cycling out to darkness. Oh god I was gonna faint. When I awoke I could smell the familiar smell of disinfectant. I knew that I was in a hospital, and when I looked down I saw a pretty little gown that you grow accustomed to when you are in places like these. Jeff was there beside me smiling when he's seen I was awake. Whilst the professionals were speaking he leaned in and whispered. "You need a doctor Danny, you scared?" He laughed heartily over his corny little joke. "Fuck off" I retorted, not really caring who heard my lovely foul language. That's just who I am. "I'm not really hurt." It was my turn to laugh because Id said that whilst filming the through sin and self destruction to Sebastian. He's turned out to be one of my best friends who supports me in anything I do. After what seemed like an eternity had passed the doctor came in to inform me that I had my first official panic attack, and isn't that just dandy! If I just had my first does that mean I was going to have more. He gave me a list of things that could help me to destress myself and some doctors that could help me further.  Well everyone has told me I'm crazy so this is just another thing to add to my list.