Beautiful Things Never Last

4. Quinn

I wad my apron into a ball, cram it into my locker and slam the metal door shut. "I'll see you soon," I say to my boss, Teresa.
"It's going to be amazing," she says. You can practically see the glossy cannoli cream shining in her eyes. "And don't you worry about your job; it's here waiting for you. Just don't forget about us all while you're gone."
I want to roll my eyes, because this job is nothing worth remembering, but I know how damn lucky I am to have this chance to see the world and learn something new— and not be stuck in my forties and working in this knock-off brand Italian food chain—like Teresa, who would give anything for the chance I have thrown at my feet.
"I won't," I say. I pull my hoodie over my head and grab my purse off of the bench. "I have to get going. Ben says he has something planned for tonight."
"Of course, have fun."
Teresa hired me the first week I arrived in California. Ben and I had no plan other than that we were saying to hell with our parents' theory that art school is for delinquents, and we were going to make it work out here on our own—with the help of massive student loans that'd we would probably be paying off until we were near death.

"Holy mother of tinsel, what's going on?" I ask. I stop in the doorway of our apartment to take it all in. There's a small artificial Christmas tree in the corner, decorated with big bows that look like they're threatening to topple the whole damn thing. There's a poinsettia on our cluttered coffee table, garland above the doorway to our bedroom, and the whole place reeks of those cinnamon-infused pinecones.

I turn to Ben, who is smirking like he has a secret. "What's all this?"

"Christmas," he says with a quick shrug on his shoulders. His voice is a little shy, like he isn't sure if I'll approve. His coy expression is adorable, and I can't help think of the Christmas we spent in Georgia together the night we got back together after the whole Mark fiasco. The night he had me practically begging him to kiss me. He did. And more.

That night marked the first time I felt something other than the need to be self-destructive. Ben has brought more to my life than just being a boyfriend. He's brought stability, and a beautiful love that I never imagined I could deserve.

I smile back at him, because I know he's remembering that night, too.

He winks at me and I feel the familiar butterflies in my stomach take flight. I clear my throat. "Wow, you really went all out, guys," I say, finally admitting that my brother and Shayna are also in this perfect Christmas romance bubble.

"It was all Shayna," Ben says.

"Obviously she knew it was me. I bet you two half-wits wouldn't know a Douglas Fir from a Noble."

"And you'd be right about that," Carter says with a laugh. He reaches over, hooks his arm around Shayna's waist and pulls her into his side and kisses her ear. I've never seen my brother like this. I mean, I've seen him with girlfriends before, sure. But this brand of happiness and ease is new, especially since he started working full time at a small accounting firm and stopped drinking. It takes a lot for him to relax lately. I can't believe it took my former nemesis to bring out this side of him.

"Anyway," Shayna says, cozying closer to Carter while she gets her brag on. "I got a fake tree, because I didn't know if anyone would be here for Christmas, or if it would just sit here and die. So...Ben?" Shayna raises her eyebrows curiously and taps her foot.
"Huh?" Ben asks. I love that he was ignoring her because he was busy looking me over like he wanted everyone else in the room to disappear.
"Will you? Be here for Christmas?" Her question is so insistent, it borders on severely irritating despite her good elf act.
The guilt over missing Christmas with Ben churns in my stomach. I can't believe he'll be sitting here alone. With that hideous tree Shayna decorated.
"I don't know what I'm doing yet, Shayna. But I promise you'll be the first to know."
Shayna squints her eyes at Ben's sarcasm.
"Anyway, there's hot cocoa and I picked up appetizers from that place on 5th, and I guess we'll eat now if you assholes are hungry, but if it were up to me—"
We all snicker and Carter grabs a wrapped box off of the table.
"Prezzies!" Shayna squeals. She rushes to Carter clapping like a damn seal. But way more annoying.
"I shouldn't even give this to you now. I'm going to see you on Christmas." Carter kisses her forehead and hands Shayna her gift.
"But we had to celebrate with Quinn and Ben." She grins and rips into the wrapping paper.
I feel Ben's arms wrap around my waist and slouch into him.
"I wish you would have told me you guys were planning this. I haven't had time to get gifts together." I frown.
"I've got a few ideas of things you could give me," Ben says, nipping at my ear with his teeth.
"Easy. We've got company," I laugh.
"We're not company," Carter says. "But dude, come on, that's my sister."
I don't blush often, but I can't fight the warmth rising up my neck and onto my face.
"You can bring us something back from Italy, Quinnlette," Shayna says, borrowing the nickname my brother coined for me when we were kids. "Preferably something sparkly."
"Right," I say. "I'm sure that will happen, Shay."
"Hey, is this not sparkly enough for you?" Carter asks, holding up Shayna's dainty wrist to display a stunning gold bracelet.
"It's gorgeous, babe. Merry Christmas to me!" Shayna stands on her tip-toes and kisses my brother. They're really riding the line of no longer being cute tonight, and leaning dangerously toward just being vomitously sickening.
"Hey, that's my brother," I joke.
"I think we want to go home and, um, open presents," Carter says, pulling Shayna to the door.
"Your gift is under the tree, Quinn. It's new pots and pans from all three of us. Not very original, but we had to do something to make sure you'd keep on cooking for us!" Shayna squeals in the high-pitched voice I seldom hear since we left high school on her way out the door.
"Well, that was a quick celebration," I say. I turn to Ben who has his right hand behind his back, like he's holding something. "What are you hiding back there?"
"Nothing," Ben smirks.
I take the last few steps toward him. "You don't have another gift for me, do you? Shayna said that one was from everyone. Ben?"
He pulls his hand out from behind his back. The click startles me and sudden flash blinds me momentarily.
"How many times have I told you I hate when you take my picture?"
He tosses his camera onto the sofa and pulls me in, his lips on my throat before I can argue any further.
"I know. I'm sorry," he says.
"No you're not." I find his lips with mine.
"You're right. I'm not. You're so damn beautiful, Quinn. And I'm going to miss you so damn much. I just want to remember this. Right now."
I can't argue with him.
"And this," he says, his lips working their way down my neck, shoulders, and chest. He drops to his knees and I have a momentary flash of panic.