Hearts for Tomorrow

Chapter Six

Dorian didn't move from where he sat for a long while. He focused on the sound of his breathing, the feel of each inhale, then the next. His attempts to quiet his own mind fell short of success, replaying the events of the evening again and again. Finally, though, it was Hissrad who broke through the bramble of internal voices barbing at Dorian's inner person, the massive Qunari kneeling before him with his face still shadowed.

"Come on," he said in a voice that entirely lacked his earlier fury towards the fallen guard. When Dorian didn't immediately move to stand, Hissrad reached out and tucked his fingers under Dorian's chin, drawing his face up, "I doubt you want me carrying you; but the floor can't be that comfortable."

Dorian swallowed and any words that tried to form lost their meaning in his throat. He was letting this brute see him broken down and weak, but his attempts to hide it were as weak as the words in his mind. It took a great deal of effort just to summon up the strength to pull himself to his feet, well aware of Hissrad's hand on his back before it pulled away.

He didn't quite remember going up the stairs, but he remembered the guards standing by his door, two sets of eyes glaring him down. Once again it was Hissrad who stepped between them, "Krem and I will be standing watch. Get out of here."

Once the guards dismissed themselves, Dorian slunk into his room. His attempt to close the door was stopped by Hissrad's hand as he said, "I'm just gonna leave it cracked."

Without the energy to fight it, the mage dropped into bed and stared out of the window.

Sleep didn't find him, and instead he stared without emotion or thought for a long while. Krem joined Hissrad at some point, the human's footsteps hardly quiet, but otherwise the whole of the estate was silent while Dorian was unable to sleep.

Krem huffed into the darkness, "I don't get you. I know you got duty and all that shit, but why bother making an effort?" his voice was pitched low, but Dorian assumed subtlety was hardly a strong point for that one, "Should have let me kill that Altus fuck."

Hissrad grunted, "Did you see the terror in Dorian's eyes?"

"What's it matter?"

The Qunari sighed, "For someone in your position, you have a hard time looking at things from different points of view. He stayed, didn't he? I gave him an out, but he stuck around." Krem's silence seemed to urge Hissrad to continue, which he did after a few moments, "Dorian's had everything taken away from him. His freedom, his choice, his magic, even his gender. If he feels that the world is against him right now, I can't say I blame him. But there's something there...something in his eyes. He's far from giving up."

The human scoffed, "If you feel so sappy, then why're you out here and not in there?"

"Because he doesn't trust me. It's possible he never will. I'm his enemy, and I'm one of the people taking things away from him. But he does need a friend, Krem..."

"Aw fuck, no way Chief. Don't make me go do your dirty work. Besides, he probably hates me more than you, thinks I'm some Tevinter traitor," Krem's voice rose for a moment, then quieted by the end as if reminded that he wasn't supposed to be heard.

Hissrad huffed, "And have you told him differently?"

"No, he wants to believe that shit then let 'em."

"I figured you two might have something to connect on with the issue of gender roles," Hissrad's voice was pointed and firm.

Krem groaned, "Asshole."

"You love me."

Those were the last words Dorian remembered before the darkness finally pulled him under into a restless sleep...