I wake up with and sit straight up in my bed I look over to my nightstand the glowing red letters read 3:45 am. I turn on my lamp, my eyes take a few seconds to adjust to the new brightness. The old house creaks and I take a few deeps breaths, hoping to calm myself down by morning. I inhale a large amount of air and lay down and close my eyes. The next morning I'm woken up by sunlight poking through my pastel pink curtains. My pink room glows with joy and happiness.
Grandma picked out the color on days when I was feeling down. She read an article about how pink is a very happy color, I love her for trying to help me feel normal again. The thing is we don't know why I feel so odd, my life is the same as always as far as I can remember. I throw the white blankets off and take a look at myself in the mirror.
The feeling comes to me when I look in the mirror, the girl I'm looking at isn't me. She's someone else, maybe who I really am is trapped somewhere looking for me. Maybe someday I'll wake up, someday I'll wake up and this will be just a dream. So, what if it's not? What if, I'm just crazy I've often hoped one day I would wake up and find who I am. Everything feels hazy like I'm sort of just living my life and not really going anyway where in life.
I don't understand when I started to feel this way, or why? or how. All I know is that I'm stuck feeling trapped in my small city, a small city where people struggle to get by and the crime rate is high. Kids turn to drugs for fun, I'm like the only kid in my school other than a few others who haven't tried weed.
Kids are so bored they ruin their lives, and the other half is so depressed they sit alone just passing time till they leave. Until they can be free to be who they are flaws here are not welcomed. So, when grandma asked me why I look so down, I didn't know where to start.
I've been told that the best people go through awful things but I don't even know what I'm dealing with.
A/N: so I started this on my 16th birthday or I rewrote and I'm not really sure where to take it. I had some other books that did okay but they were TERRIBLE.~lexi ✨
