"Where are you, baby? Pauwi ka na ba? Gusto mo ba sunduin kita?" I asked her worriedly.
I haven't talked to her all day. Hindi sya nagreply sa mga text ko. Hindi nya rin sinasagot ang tawag ko. I should be pissed, but I am worried instead. I don't want her to explain herself. I already know. I already know the lies she makes me believe. I know she's busy running Revert Records and managing Callix. But I also know she goes home to him.
"I'm fine JP. Pauwi na din ako in a while." She answered.
"Are you sure? Baka pagod ka na." I said as I looked around her empty office.
Audrey took a deep breath. She's thinking of an answer. An answer that's probably gonna be a soft blow. I was waiting. I have been waiting for her to tell me that she wants out. I have been waiting for her to leave me. Everytime she doesn't, I get a little more hopeful that she would leave him instead.
"No. I'm okay." She tried to cheer up.
"Sige. Let me know when you get home. Ingat ka pauwi. I love you." Malambing kong sabi, kahit pigil na pigil ang namumuong sakit sa dibdib ko.
"I will. Talk to you later." Sagot nya at binaba na ang tawag.
She still can't say it. Kasama naman 'to sa consequence ng pag-oo nya na maging girlfriend ko. Being my girlfriend doesn't mean she has to say 'I love you' back. I can't complain much. As long as I am her known boyfriend, I can still keep up with the lies.
Alam ko naman kung nasaan sya eh. Alam ko din na nagsisinungaling sya. Minsan naiisip ko na dapat akong matuwa dahil hindi pa nya ako iniiwan. Ibig sabihin hindi pa nya pinipili si Logan. Pero, dapat nga ba akong matuwa na hindi din nya ako pinipili? Hindi pa nya pinipiling saktan ako ng harapan. Sa bagay, hindi ko rin naman alam kung mas masakit ba ang harapan kesa sa kasinungalingan- at parang ayoko din malaman.
I have always wanted to confront Audrey about her affair with Logan, but I am too much of a coward to hear her answer. Takot akong marinig na mahal nya si Logan. Takot akong marinig na si Logan ang pinipili nya. If she's not going to choose me, then I won't make her choose... I can make Logan turn his back on Audrey instead. Just like what I did before.
It's my birthday celebration tonight. My mom insisted on throwing a birthday dinner for me along with the whole Neon clan. I tried calling Audrey this morning until late afternoon but her phone's turned off. I tried calling her office but the secretary said Audrey didn't come to work. Tumawag din ako sa bahay nila and she's not home either. Isang araw na naman na kailangan kong lunukin na magkasama sila ni Logan. Ito ang bubog na kailangan kong hawakan ng madiin kahit pa gaano kasakit. Taking it out would be more painful. Mas magiging madali para sa kanya na iwan ako pag nalaman nyang alam ko ang tungkol sa kanila ni Logan. Hindi ko kayang mawala sya sa akin.
Alas siyete na ng gabi at nagsimula na din mag datingan ang mga bisita. Puro mga pamilya ng Neon ang dumating. Nagulat pa ako na nakarating si Robi liit at Gabi. Pareho na kasi silang naka-base sa Spain. Liit is now the CEO of their car technology corporation. Gabi is working as a music and arts teacher for special children. Bihira silang umuwi dito sa Pilipinas. Mas madalas, sila ninong Robi, ninang Ian at mga kapatid nila ang pumupunta ng Ibiza. Nagtagal lang sila sa Pilipinas noong naglayas si Sam. Tatlong taon na rin simula nang huli ko silang makita. Hindi tulad ng dati, simpleng palitan na lang ng ngiti at tango ang ginagawa namin.
Nilibot ko ang paningin ko sa buong garden. Kumpleto na ang mga inimbita ni mommy. Naka upo na din sila ninong Zach at ninang Audrina. Nakapagitna naman kay ZD at Ixara si Xenon na mukang naiinip na. I looked around for that one person I wanted to see the most.
Napatingin ako sa gawi ng gate, at doon pumasok si Audrey. She wore a black loose cropped top, denim shorts and a pair of red low cut Chucks. She stood out from the visitors who were wearing semi-formal clothes. But it wasn't what she wore that caught my attention. Her hair. Her long wavy hair that I loved so much was gone. Audrey's hair now fell just a few inches below her ears. She knows how much I loved playing with the strands of her hair, but she cut it off. I felt my chest tightened.
