Cleshay

Six

Traveling back as far as I remember I was always an entertainer. My little sister Amber (age 3) and I always put on little shows for my mom on Saturdays when my mom got off work. Usually my Dad wouldn't be home yet and we were with our babysitter who has grown more as a sister upon me. My Dad on Saturdays would usually be working on cars with my grandpa and my older brother Brian ( age 12). But today went a little differently than planned.

Me and my sister loved to have a big audience we took chairs from our downstairs cocktail table and any others laying around some where. We would always set the chairs up into two rows by the entrance of the room. The biggest chair sat in the middle it was black and had a gold finish around the legs and the back of the chair, something that was fit for the queen of the palace. The queen being my mom, the other chairs were metal folding chairs that had kind of a webbed like design to them resembling flowers in a garden. To fill in all the chairs except the one my mom would sit in we would bring all of our stuffed animals down and place them in the chairs.

It was almost show time, my mom walked through the front door and went upstairs to relieve herself of all of her heavy garments. My sister ran up the stairs and I quickly followed behind her. We begged her to come with us before going into the room with my sleeping father, she denied. She said she would be down in 5 minutes. 5 minutes turned into 45, 45 minutes turned into an hour and so on. It was getting close to the mid day hours of 4-5 o'clock and my mom finally came out of the room. I remember this part clearly because it was the day that changed my world and how I knew it.

My mom stormed out of the house and my dad ran downstairs. I could tell things got bad because my dad looked as though he was about to cry, and my dad never cries. He grabbed me and my sisters' hands and embraced us while kneeling in front of us. He told me that he would be going away for a little while and to never think that he never loved us or wouldn't love us anymore. I was confused on what was going on, it was too much for my immature mind to handle.

Months pasted from the time I last talked to my father, but now here he was sitting in my living room. My mom called me my brother and sister out to the living room and had us sit on one couch while my her and my father sat directly across from us.

"Who do you guys want to live with" my mom spoke softly.

My brother was the first to speak he chose my dad. My sister and I opted to stay and live with my mother. From that day on we all parted ways. Because of my age I really didn't understand what was happening and now that I look back and reminisce on it, it caused me to cringe in the pain of my aching bitter heart.

I've always regretted not going with my father because I felt as though I could've stopped things from happening. Later I started to realize that I couldn't control the natural events around me.

Living around my mom was somewhat good .. Well at least most of the time. Since my dad left my mom had started to go out more, I started to see her less and less. I craved for my moms attention when she was around but all she did was push me away. After countless times of trying to be around my mother I just stopped. My sister and I fell back on our day to day babysitter her name was Elaine. Elaine was about 5'9 with a light completion and a natural sandy brown hair color. I was always so excited to get home just to see what Elaine had planned for us. Sometimes we'd go to the park until dusk, play games, or we'd make dinner for my mom. Elaine was like the older sister I've always wanted.

My mom finally arrived home at about 8 pm. And surprise, surprise, she brought a man home. My mom never usually brought men home unless it was something serious. This man stood about 6'3 with a light brown completion, he had long thick black dreads, light brown eyes, and was dressed in casual wear.
"Everybody this is Jamal" she said, taking in a deep breath before speaking. "He'll be staying with us for a while"

Jamal stood up and shook me and my sisters hands at the same time. He sat back down making himself comfortable. My mom then pointed to me and my sister calling out our names as she pointed. I was a little concerned and by the look on my sisters face she wasn't really in the mood either. My mom dismissed us and me and my sister resumed our play.

A YEAR LATER

By this time I was now almost 7 and my sister was 4. My sister and I have endured a lot of changes in our life. We were moved out of private schooling and put into a nearby elementary school. Well technically my sister was put out and I had to leave also because of daily commutes. I know what you're thinking, a 4 year old being kicked out of school ? Yes, well it happens. My sister threw a fit and threw a toys and a few heavier items at her teacher, unfortunately that was the last straw. My mother was confused on her sudden erotic behavior and took her to the doctor where she was then diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). It wasn't a huge blow to our family but we did have to be careful about what we did and what we said around her.

My sister and I were moved to Brookside elementary. I was in 3rd grade and my sister was in kindergarten. To be the new kid at school everything wasn't going too well, people were very distant towards me. I don't know if it was my looks or my attitude. At that time I was very small and frail almost stick-like. I had very thick long black hair that was put into a giant pony tail at the middle of my head. My uniform was a little big making my shirt look like a dress. I remained by myself until the next day.

My second day of school went a little smoother, my teacher Mrs. Louis helped me get a little more settled. Right after class started I got up to sharpen my pencils and I ran into a boy named Brandon. Brandon was a little taller than me, he had a mocha skin complexion, a round Afro, he was kind of chubby and he was very smart. Brandon offered to sharpen my pencil for me, little did I know that started a good friendship. Brandon invited me to sit next to him and his friends during lunch, where I met a girl named Taylor and another boy named Kyle. We all remained  friends until around about the end of middle school, a subject that I'm not going to get too touchy on.

Through out that year my mom and her boyfriend got closer and I still haven't spoken to my dad or my brother since the separation. I've began to feel like they have forgotten about me which drew me to tears sometimes,but that only made me and my moms bond stronger.