Hi. I go by the name Amber. Sixteen years of existence. Currently living in the heart of Manila, Philippines. Student, single, paranoid, eccedentesiast, unknown specie, half empty, half full, describe me whatever you want.
I had different relationships from the years i have spent here on earth. Some were serious and some were just "Ah okay". For me, love is a wonderful thing but it would always be a risk. Why? Because, Yes, it would inspire you and make you feel great but at the end of the day, it will only make you suffer. It would derange you or worst-- kill you. Sorry if I'm too negative about love. You can't blame me. I didn't chose to be like this. Love has made my life so depressing. It changed me and now I'm like this. I was such a perky person before but now.. I just.. don't know myself anymore. Hayy.. If I had just one wish? I'd wish to feel nothing.
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Summer, April 2012
"Hoooo" I yawned. Woke up and stand up to catch a glimpse of the sun. It was nice and perfect! I always like to see it rises especially on summer. I grab my eyeglasses and head to the bathroom. Washed my face but didn't look up on the mirror. I don't like to see my face. I feel so ugly. (as always) After washing my face I head to the kitchen and made some coffee to wake up my soul. "Hmmm" I love coffee. I sat on the chair beside the window, grab a book and start reading. The title of the book is "The Fault In Our Stars" by John Green. I'm such a fanatic of John Green though, I haven't finish any of his books yet. I love this kind of atmosphere. Drinking coffee while reading a book. What a perfect morning!
When I've finished reading the Chapter 3 of the book, I grab my phone to check my emails. As I scroll it, one message pop out on my screen! It says "Hi" from unknown number. I replied.
"Hello. Who is this?"
"It's me. Didn't know you've already deleted my number. miss you."
What??????
" Will you please introduce yourself first?" I asked.
"It's Stephen. Your ex. Forgive me for the random message. I'm just.. missing you so much."
Wtf?? Seriously?! What the heck is wrong with this guy?! I replied.
"Stephen what??" arghhh
"Stephen Lei. Don't you remember me Jenny?"
Stephen Lei? Jenny? I'm not Jenny, I'm Amber! And I never had encountered any Stephen Lei before!
"Excuse me Mr. Lei. This is not Jenny. And I highly doubt you've texted the wrong number." I replied.
"Oh.. sorry. I thought this was Jenny."
I didn't text back. I was a bit pissed off. He kinda destroyed my prefect morning. I just continued reading the book to retrieve my good mood.
Im a bookworm. The kind of a girl who'll rather stay at home and read a book than go outside and hangout with guys. I got this hobby and addiction from my loving dad. He's a college professor and he has created books that were related to what course he is teaching. Hmm my mom, she's really not into reading but she excels in math, which is something I didn't inherit. Huhu unlucky me. I always suck in math.
As I opened the book to the last page i have read, I wondered why it is titled 'The Fault In Our Stars'. Its a genius title. You have to agree with me. The female protagonist in the story is named Hazel. She's a sixteen year old too just like me but she's diagnosed with a lung cancer. The other protagonist is Augustus Waters. He's a cancer survivor but his one foot was already taken. I'm pretty sure they're going to be together in the end. Haha Can't wait to finish the book! I'm so hooked with their love story.
While reading, mom called me over and asked if i could buy some ingredients for our lunch. And jeez, ofcourse I have to follow her. I cant complain.
I entered the Grocery store and start finding the ingredients needed. Hmm parsley, tomato paste, and....and... lasagna noodles. Oh my! Mom's going to cook lasagna!!!! My favorite! Whoopeedoo! Im feeling like a 5 year old waiting impatiently for her favorite food. I should hurry. Can't wait to have lunch now. Hmm pick! pick! "Done!!" Everything's now complete! I got all the ingredients already hmm maybe I should drop in Matt's house before going home. It's just 8 blocks away from our house so I guess its pretty okay and besides, mom knows him already.
*Doorbell*
"Hi Auntie!" Im reffering to Matt's mom. I call her Auntie.
"Oh! Hello my dear, Amber. Looking for Matt?"
"Yes Auntie." What a gorgeous lady she is! Who would have thought that she already bore a child? She look so young!
I entered their house. It's pretty big. They have maids and they own 4 cars. Matt and I been bestfriend for years. He is raised in a rich family but still, he grew up humble and kind. He dont brag about their wealth. He's simple and acts like we're on the same level.
I directly went into Matt's room. Since we've been bestfriends for a long time, his family already knows me well so its ok for me to just feel at home. When I have reached the door to Matt's room, I didn't knock. I want to surprise him so I abruptly opened the door and entered!
"Wtf Amber! Are you trying to kill me?!"
"Hahahah lol! Peace with you bro. Hahahaha"
"How many times do i have to tell you to knock first??"
"Okay okay. easyyyy! Hahahaha i love your reaction!"
"Amber!!!!"
"Ahehe"
Oh I missed this guy so much. I haven't seen him for a week. I love it when I tease him. He look so cute. But, he's even cuter when he smiles. His dimples and the sparkles in his eyes.. are just so.. amazing. He's perfect, actually. But, I have no special feelings for him.
We're so excited hearing about each other's story. Well, ofcourse as bestfriends, one week is equivalent to one month. So we automatically became like 'talking machines' lol and didn't notice that we have spent hours just talking and talking about things we have missed out while we're not together. And, forgot that I have to get home before lunch. Okay Im dead. It's already 1pm. Mom's gonna kill me.
"And what took you so long??"
"Uhmm I.. I visited Matt. You know we dont see each other much now.."
"Ah Okay"
Hoo!!! I thought she's mad. Lucky she's in good mood! This is so very unusual. Mom's used to be a monster when she's mad. I held her the ingredients head back to my room and lie in my bed.
As my mom cook our dinner, I rest for a while.
Slowly, I closed my eyes.
