I'd never been popular.
Maybe it was my sense of style, or the fact I didn't have one as my family couldn't afford clothing I actually liked..
At least people seemed to take their distance from me and I never had a single friend.
They'd pick on me for my "cheap trousers", and "non-brand glasses", and leave me alone unless they were bullying.
My name's Poppy Miller, and here's the story of how my life took a bigger turn than I'd ever imagine:
****
"There's the school, Pop. Where you'll be going." my mum exitedly exclaimed as my father steered our lame car past the big brick building.
"Yeah.." I nodded, not as excited.
We soon drove up the driveway to our new home. I sighed. It wasn't much. It was a brown brick house, with black thathced roof and white doors and windowframes.
****
I sighed, looking over the areal of my room. It was a bit messy, but I'd spent the day from 10am to 6pm getting my furniture settled, putting clothing into my drawers and helping my parents around the house.
After a whole day in a small house with loads of work I decided to go for a walk, studying the area a bit. I went up to my room, searching for my sneakers. I opened a big navy blue bag I'd been using as my everything bag the last 3 years. I found my rip-off converse and put them on. They were old, and even a bit too small. But since I'd just gotten new sandals I couldn't get new sneakers for a while.
I looked into the bag. There it was. The rope. I'd been planning this for a while. I was tired of everything. I couldn't enjoy life. And even though a new town means new opportunities, I felt like I didn't have the strenght anymore.
I'd been playing it off for a month or so. Told my parents that I got a jumping rope, and went actually jumping it for them to believe.
But that day I was gonna use it to something utter different. It was gonna be the last time I used it. It was gonna be the reason I took my last breath.
I was gonna kill myself.
.
I put on my favourite outfit. A plain white dress from Primark with nice lace details on the top part, then from under my bust and down it went in soft, wavy material. I took out the messy bun on the top of my head, allowing messy waves to flow over my upper back. I put on the black rip off shoes and looked myself in the mirror for the last time.
I wasn't ugly, I wasn't mean, I wasn't boring, I didn't deserve this, I thought. You're ugly, you're rude, you're boring and nobody deserves shit like you, another voice reminded.
I sighed and turned away. It was time.
I ran down the stairs, threw my bag down by the door, and ran into the living room where my mum and dad was sat, drinking coffee and talking.
"I'll be taking a little walk. Just to look around." I told them slowly, knowing this was not true.
"Okay, honey. Be back soon." my dad beamed warmly. I nodded, walking over to the two.
"I love you guys." I whispered as I pulled them into a warm hug. They didn't question this. We were usually affectionate towards each other.
****
I grabbed my navy blue bag on my way out and headed straight to the woods in the end of the street of houses.
The neighboorhood was beautiful. Houses framed in pretty gardens. Happy people walking around together. I took a deep breath as I stepped into the forrest. A long brown line of path went through the explosion of trees. I followed it for a while before taking a turn to the right and I walked for what seemed like hours, but must've been minutes as the woods weren't that big.
I finally found a nice tree. A rock was under one of the biggest branches and it was perfect to hang a rope on and then jump off the stone..
I got the rope up, and eyed it for a moment. Were I having second thoughts? No.. I needed this. This was what would end the loneliness. I couldn't help but think about my parents though.. They'd be heartbroken. But they'd be fine in the end. Everyone would be.
I was just about to complete when I heard a branch crack somewhere. I snapped my head right then left but didn't see anyone. Then I saw a person. He or she was wearing a neon orange t-shirt, making it hard to miss. The person was strongly built, making me assume it was a man. I cursed under my breath and ran behind the tree.
I could see the man.. boy, getting closer. I slowly made out he was tall, pale skin and a built and strong body. His hair was covered in a grey beanie but chocolate brown curls pointed out of it.
"Umm, is anybody here?" the boy asked with a raspy, husky voice. He must've noticed my bag. From the angle of where he was standing he could not see the rope. He slowly started walking around the tree making me do the same, for him not to see me. I watched as his eyes noticed the rope, hanging there very ready for something very obvious. I decided I needed to act out, do something. But just as I was planning out something the boy stepped around the tree again and his eyes met mine.
"Uhh.. is this yours?" he asked, pointing for the rope.
I put on a somewhat innocent facial expression.
"Oh, no, no, no. I was just walking around and I found it." I lied. It worked somewhat.. I was never really a good actor though.
The boy eyed me suspicously.
"I'm Poppy by the way." I told him as I reached a hand out. He took it almost instantly and shook it politely.
"I'm Harry."
"Nice to meet you." I smiled and eyed the small open area in the forrest. As my eyes met Harry again I noticed he was still eyeing me suspiciously. "Um. I'm new here. Was just checking out the area, got kinda lost and I found this.. um, rope. And I just looked around the tree to.." I stopped myself. What the fuck was I rambling about? This boy probably didn't care..
"Uh, of coarse. You're starting school here?" he asked me and I nodded.
"Yeah.. Um, I'm 11th grade." I told him and he nodded.
"So am I." He shot me a gorgeous and very friendly smile.
"Cool." I awkwardly implied.
"Well, Poppy, I'm gonna continiue my run now. I'll be counting on seeing you on school tomorrow." he smiled at me and I sensed a secret meaning of it. I slowly nodded. "I'm taking this with me, though. Wouldn't be nice if any children found something like this hanging around, would it?" he smiled and I shook my head. His long fingers struggled to get the knot up but as they did, he slung the rope over his shoulders and turned for me one last time. "Tomorrow, Poppy." he winked and ran off.
I frowned. What did just happen? This stranger of a guy just ruined my month long plan about finally ending the shit I call my life. And I let him. And I promised he would see me at school next day. Great.
