Hey! I thought of this idea and just wanted to write it down. Please let me know what you think.
Love? There's no such thing.
Throughout the centuries there have been people who believed themselves to be so in love that they defied their parents' wishes or gave up everything they had for one person or even died for this feeling. This is ridiculous. Love doesn't exist and people waste their entire lives searching for it.
I didn't always used to be this sceptical but I was young and life hadn't taught me that cruel lesson yet. I didn't understand the way life worked then. I do now. Life has a twisted sense of humour, it gives some people, usually the most undeserving people, everything and leaves others with nothing but heartache and misery. It also plays games and toys with you, especially the young, it uses your naivety to trick you into believing in a fairytale before it rips the ground out from under your feet and your left to pick up the shattered pieces of your broken heart. And even after this some people just don't get the hint that fairytales don't exist anywhere other than the pages of a book and let life trick them once again into trusting a dream before it is inevitably taken away from them again. But not me, I may have been gullible enough to fall for it once but never again. Never again will I believe that life is kind, I know now that it's cruel and heartless. So if you want to survive it, that's what you have to be too.
My parents were the ones to teach me this lesson about life. My mother showed me when she suddenly left our perfect little family without ever looking back. And my father makes sure that I know this lesson everyday when I get home from school. As he too didn't know this lesson until my mother left being the one to break his heart as he was one of those unfortunate people who have deluded themselves into believing that they are in love. He blames me for mum leaving and makes sure that I know it by beating me to within an inch of blissful unconsciousness almost every day, but he never allows me to reach it, saying that I deserve to be awake to feel the pain, claiming that it is just a fraction of what he goes through each day since mum left.
I've learnt the lesson well, I'm not going to be tricked into believing that anybody could love me, I mean, why would they? But I do believe in friendship. Above almost anything I believe in friendship it has been the lifejacket that has kept me afloat. My best friend in the entire world, Jasmine, is the only person I have ever told about what happens to me. I told Jazzy a few years ago but it took me a long time to build up the courage to do it, fearing how she would react. Although I'd known her almost all of my life and knew that she would never really hurt me I couldn't help the nagging feeling in my gut that had told me that she would be disgusted with me. That she would tell me that I deserved it and that I was worthless, that was what HE had done to me. He made me question myself, he made me feel like I wasn't good enough for anybody and that is why for years I suffered my torture alone.
Ever since I told her Jazzy made sure to get me to have as many sleepovers as possible so that I wouldn't have to go back to him. I always made sure to ask him when we were in public so that he couldn't refuse, sure I paid for it when I got back but it was worth it. It was worth the pain to have a night when I felt safe and normal hanging out with my best friend.
"Tori, you're staying at mine this weekend, for the whole thing, I'm not letting you go back to him on my birthday." Jazzy said with excitement glowing in her eyes.
"Are you sure? I mean I came over to yours last weekend Dad wouldn't like it if I went again." I said nervously.
"Oh alright then, now that you mention it, forget the whole new phone thing what I really want for my birthday is for my best friend to get beaten up by her father." She said sarcastically, whilst rolling her eyes. "You're staying at mine, end of conversation." She said smiling at me with the face that told me she had won and wasn't going to take no for an answer. I smiled weakly at her, as I got in her car, I wasn't going to argue with her as it was her birthday soon, but I wasn't looking forward to telling dad that I was going to spend another weekend away. I fidgeted the whole drive home, nervously biting my nails, a habit that I had whenever I was worried. Jazzy noticed and frowned at me.
